Well, I am basically dead. This may be the last piece I ever write. This feeling of impending dome is brought on by a recent study that showed , “People who feel insecure about their attachments to others might be at higher risk for cardiovascular problems than those who feel secure in their relationships”.
The study might have a point about insecurity. It didn’t help Romeo or Juliet any.
It seems, according to the study, that in any relationship, there are three attachment styles. Secure, avoidant and anxious. The study explained these styles, “Secure attachment refers to feeling able to get close to others and being willing to have others depend on you. Avoidant attachment refers to difficulty getting close to others and trusting others. Anxious attachment refers to the tendency to worry about rejection, feel needy and find others are reluctant to get close to you.”
If you are secure in your relationship, your future looks pretty bright. But if you have an “avoidant” or “anxious” relationship, save yourself some time. Just walk down to the undertaker and get measured for a coffin now. Or in scientific terms, kiss your ass goodbye.
If you are insecure about your relationship, this study will not cheer you up. This study is like handing a drowning man a bag of rocks, like stepping on the hands of a mountain climber about to make the summit, like encouraging someone to go skinny dipping in the Gulf. If you are down about your relationship, this study will enable you to sink to new depths of despair. And that is the good news.
Let’s take another peek at the study. It states,” The authors found that avoidant attachment was positively associated with conditions defined primarily by pain (e.g., frequent or severe headaches). Anxious attachment was positively associated with a wider range of health conditions, including some defined primarily by pain and several involving the cardiovascular system (e.g., stroke, heart attack or high blood pressure).”
Cheered up yet? Well, you will love this quick summary by Lachlan A. McWilliams, PhD, of Acadia University.. He cheerfully states “These findings suggest that insecure attachment may be a risk factor for a wide range of health problems, particularly cardiovascular diseases…”
But then again, the study could be wrong. I have a long history of failed relationships. Heck, even my dog ran away from home. Man’s best friend, my ass.
But I digress. Just because I have two ex-wives and a fear of commitment that runs deeper than Britney Spear’s psychological problems, doesn’t mean I am doomed to have health problems. In fact, I firmly believe in that Lewis Grizzard quote, “”I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”
This Grizzard quote ain’t bad either, “I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.”
But the upshot is, I refuse to believe the study. Insecurity in a relationship does not lead to health problems. It may lead to drinking, but never health problems. Wait, what is that pain in my chest? Why is my arm numb? Ah, it is probably nothing. Let me catch my breath and ……..
American Psychological Association (2010, July 21). Afraid of a broken heart? Feeling insecure in relationships may predispose people to later cardiovascular problems, says research. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 26, 2010, from http://www.sciencedaily.com /releases/2010/07/100720123641.htm