I hope all of you had an enjoyable and safe Mother’s Day! Thankfully, this day is usually not one where family members end up in the ER like some holidays – Fourth of July being the winner – of course I’m sure someone in the country choked on an olive pit at the Country Club brunch, but a quick Heimlich maneuver and the celebration continues! Mimosa’s for everyone!!
Some mothers receive delightful gifts from their husbands or children, but they are few in number to those who know their present will head straight to the already dedicated “special” drawer or box of previous Mother’s Day gifts received from their little ones.
These are the gifts which obviously were the kids’ idea and make you chuckle, or cry when you open the box, especially on the days when they head off to college or get married or have a child of their own.
These joyous gifts only are problematic when they are hazardous to your health; so I am going to bestow a few tips on how to handle or cure some common potential Mother’s Day hazards.
1) The Cheap Necklace Green Stained Neck malady: Soap and water can sometimes remove the greenish black metallic stain around your neck the day after, but using rubbing alcohol or skin toner directly to the ring around your neck will get you away from having to wear turtle necks in the summer.
2) Itchy Ears Syndrome: This occurs when your child picks you out a pair of $2.99 earrings from the mall that they know are perfect for you. The child chooses to use their allowance money and the tears well up in your eyes. What a beautiful gesture, but the fact of the matter, is you are petrified how much your ears will itch for the next week! An antihistamine (which will make you drowsy) may help, but there are these “condom looking” plastic earring post protectors which are fabulous and you can wear them without having to pull out any hydrocortisone.
3) So Many Flowers in the House, People Will Ask, “Who Died?”: This is one of those gifts where you try your best to make them live as long as possible, while slamming down allergy pills, while swatting at the bees transporting pollen around your home.
4) The Day After Mother’s Day Paralyzed Smile: Spending an entire day saying over and over, “Thank you so much! I love it!!” can be exhausting. And usually with the preschoolers and young grade-schoolers you will repeat this more times than you can count. A gentle massage to your face and cheeks will help release the rigored muscles on your face and neck before going to sleep. Hint: You also might put on a heavy night cream to avoid any large wrinkles that may have developed from over-smiling all day.
5) I Love You Mom But You Stink Predicament: Bad perfume is one of those gifts you hope you never have to receive, but the chances are pretty high if you have a grade-schooler. You will literally smell like roses, which by the way, makes me gag. A good long shower with lots of soap and a loofah will remove the skin particles that are forever holding onto that scent.
I personally like hand-crafted items, stories written by my children or their artwork. These are the treasures that will cause my flood gates to open on those monumental days.
So here is my recover plan: I will eat healthily and increase my water intake to wash out all the toxins from my special day; but don’t think I won’t have pain relievers and allergy pills on deck to be prepared.