Ok. So tonight on the ole faceybooks, a buddy of mine posted some random comment criticizing Obama for.. honestly, I have no clue. I think he was criticizing because I guess that’s what he thinks he’s supposed to do. Make no mistake, my buddy is a pretty cool human being… but he’s political. So he’s a moron. And that’s truly the heart of this post. Politics, as we know it, pretty much makes you into a drooling idiot incapable of thinking about anything more than what someone else has likely told you, which was likely told to them, and told to them before that, and -once you follow the trail- you realize it was likely started by a coin toss.
So this got me to thinking (dangerous though it is)… what DOES politics mean? Why should any of us care about politics? Well, after some moar (5 minutes) thought, I realized that Politics matters because it’s given us the following 4 brutal misconceptions about America:
1) America is a Democracy.
2) America is a Christian country.
3) We are the freest country in the world.
4) People come to America for limitless opportunity.
So, let me now take these one at a time..
1) America is a Democracy. No, stupid, we are not. We are actually a Constitutional Republic. The next time you say “we’re a democracy” or “America is the best democracy in the world”.. actually, if the word “democracy” at all comes out of your mouth… just shut up. You clearly failed at Civics and, by extension, fail at life. Yes, this includes the term “Democratic Ideals.” Seriously. Athens was a democracy. Look at them, look at us, and make note of the differences.
2) America is a Christian country. *sigh* This tired crap? We aren’t a Christian nation you nitwit. Look.. go here. Now, hit ctrl + F on your keyboard (that opens up the “Find” dialog) and type in the word God and see how many entries it finds. Notice that it finds none. Now, deal with with the fact that we’re a nation founded on the ideas of religious freedom and that also just so happens to include freedom FROM religion. In fact, it was actually founded partially on the fact that government + religion = you can’t be serious. The Middle East is founded on religious principles and that seems to be going well, doesn’t it? Counter to that, all of you people freaking out over “In God We Trust” anywhere… please note that the word “God” is actually a generic term that could apply to any sort of divine figure. So having “in god we trust” on anything the government makes doesn’t mean a thing. Just shut up. By the way, I’m Christian and I really really REALLY don’t want my government professing to take direction from my God. That just creeps me out in so many ways.
3) We are the freest country in the world. No, we aren’t. And, frankly, that’s how it’s supposed to be. If you don’t understand why, then the concept of “balance” is wasted on you. Accept this and go on about your life. What? You think we are? I can’t take a bottle of soda into an airport. You’re wrong, I’m right, go away.
4) People come to America for limitless opportunity. They come here because they can fail and we’ll take care of them. If people want truly limitless opportunity, they go to Australia since the entire world completely forgets that Australia even exists. Remember, Australia was a country colonized by the English so, in part, they could stash prisoners down there. If you think this is just some odd coincidence, then you really are naive and will likely end up flat-broke in a retirement home because you sent your money to a TV preacher, a psychic hot-line, or -worse- that freaky Asian troll who sells “real estate” advice on late night TV. Hint: you pay property taxes on a property seized by the local government and TADAA the house is yours. There, I just saved you $5,000.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love my country. And that’s precisely why I can make this post. Because I love the COUNTRY, which means I love the entirety of it. Sure, we may have more than our global fair share of miscreants, idiots, nut-jobs, and the Gosselins.. but we’re still a pretty good place to be because of our just absolutely insane diversity. If more people would drop politics and view things from a humanistic viewpoint, then we’d likely do better.
But then, we wouldn’t have had Sarah Palin. So, in conclusion, I don’t know what the hell I’m taking about, but you just spent 800+ words convinced I did. Vote for me!
