As a boyfriend, I am required to say I’m one of the best. One, because most boyfriends are misguided enough to truly believe that, and two, I’m a guy, I have to say that. It’s one of my prerequisites. But for me, I know what I’m talking about. I never brag about being one of the best, because I don’t have to, I know it. I’ve never hit my girl, never threatened her, never cheated on her, never raised my voice at her, always honest with her, never had a stupid argument with you, sided with her when I was wrong, and do so many little nice things among the lesser big things that we both maintain a solid, healthy relationship.
This is a story of douchebag Joe, my alter ego who doesn’t think before he speaks. This is the rudest thing I’ve ever done.
When my girlfriend transferred to my school, FSU, we were obviously excited to be closer together, but at the same time, nervous about the constant exposure to each other. We were used to enough distance to keep everything, but now we would see each other EVERY DAY. I believe a good relationship needs SOME distance, so you don’t get sick and tired of each other. Needless to say, it took some time to get comfortable with the closer proximity.
One night, I was chilling out in my dorm room, and my girlfriend called up. I knew she wanted to hang out, but I was actually worn down from spending so much time with her, so when I picked up, sure enough, I was right. She was in the area, and she wanted me to go downstairs and let her in.
In his infinite wisdom, Douchebag Joe said the following:
“I can’t hang out right now, I’m ironing.”
The truth was, I actually was ironing, but still! Try and find a worse excuse than that.
So she said ok and hung up. I knew I screwed up, and clearly, she was pissed, so I tried saving face and called her back, asking if she’d like to come back up. She told me no, she was on her way back to her dorm, and with an aura of anger around her. I could tell she was mad, but there was nothing I could do.
Eventually, we did make up, and with lesser men, they would’ve ended the relationship right there, but thankfully, my capable relationship skills helped me out, I explained to her the truth, she understood, and we’ve stayed together since.
But it almost ended right then and there because of my rudeness. I still shudder when I think of what I said, because generally, I’m a really nice guy, but because I was a jerk, and I wasn’t smart enough to be honest with her, like I should have, the situation went to Defcon 2. So take it from me, guys. First, don’t pretend to be great if you’re not, and two, be honest. It goes a long way.