I have a lot of men in my life. Mind you it’s not quite what most people would imagine when they hear that statement. My “men” range in ages from 17 months to 9 years old. They are my sons, and there are four of them. When we all go places together we get stares, looks and unfortunately sometimes, rude comments. One of my favorites is “They’re ALL boys??” as though suddenly one of them is going to sprout long hair and a dress to confirm that their suspicions are wrong. I usually answer this question with the same answer “Yes, God blessed with me four of them.” The nosy stranger usually shakes their head and walks away or proceeds to tell me how they feel “sorry for me”. These are the statements that make me shake my own head at their ignorance.
I always wanted four kids and after my first baby died during the second trimester I knew I would just be blessed to have kids, no matter what their gender. Do not get me wrong, I am like most any person out there. I would love to have both a boy and a girl just to see what it was like but the fact of the matter is, I love babies no matter what color blanket you put around them at the end of the day. They make me happy down to the bottom of my soul and as I see them grow, I am amazed at not only the process but how different they are.
When I hear people say they are sorry for families who have kids that are all one gender it makes me cringe. It makes me protective of my own sons. I have to remind myself these strangers, these people who do not take the time to really KNOW my children have no idea how beautiful they are, and how it goes beyond the fact they are boys. My oldest is kind, helpful, but with a little mischief thrown in there. He loves to read and he loves to help me cook. He is my “buddy” and will always hold a special place in my heart.
My second child, he is the one that tugs on my heart and makes my mamma bear come out. Most people misunderstand him and it makes me sad for them that they will never truly know him. He is the one that comes up and hugs me in the morning. He is the one that can sense people and how they really are. He is REAL and I love that about him. He has overcome so much already in his life.
My third son. They say the third times a charm, in my case with him, he’s a charmer. He is my clown. He has the best imagination and tells me I am the best cook in the deep blue sea. When he smiles he’s all dimples and it brightens up even the darkest day.
Lastly there is my baby boy. With big chocolate brown eyes, a head full of curls and arms that always seem to be “up” so I can carry him or hold him, he fills my heart with happiness.
So to hear people say they are sorry for me, or that I am “crazy” to have all these sons makes me want to both laugh and cry.
About 8 months ago I found myself with a happy surprise. I discovered I was pregnant and later on discovered it was a girl. I am happy not only to get to experience both but of course at the prospect of welcoming a new soul to the world. I just hope when people see my family then, they will look beyond the gender of my children and see them for what they all really are, which is my kids. I hope instead of feeling sorry for me and soon-to-be-here daughter because we are surrounded by “boys” they see that instead I’m a mom who is going to be well taken care of one day with her four grown sons and that my daughter will have four big brothers to help protect her and show her the world. I have always considered myself a “boy mom” living in a world of blue and even now I still consider myself this. Just now with a splash of pink thrown in.
