My wife is my best friend. But my wife wasn’t always my wife; she wasn’t always my fiancé; at one point she was just a girl I was dating. When I moved to New York City on my own in 2001, my best friend was still in college in Connecticut. Then she moved in. My best friend and I have lived many places together; the city, the car, the country, the car, the deep south, bed and breakfasts, The Valley, her parents, my grandpas…The car. A few things which have always kept us together and sane has been our deep understanding of one another, our unquenchable spirit of adventure, lust for life, our ability to roll with the punches, our toleration of certain things, our inability to tolerate other things, knowing the difference between the two, and our respect of boundaries. Certain lines just can’t be crossed.
Living With Your Best Friend: Respect Boundaries: My best friend is an amazing person; she’s funny, she’s fun, she’s full of enthusiasm, she’ll go long periods without saying anything and then tackle you in a barrage of questions. My best friend though needs her alone time. When she’s in an objectionable mood you best steer clear. I have learned through the years of living together in a variety of settings not to push her buttons when she doesn’t want them pushed. I have learned to respect boundaries.
Living With Your Best Friend: Respect Sleep: My best friend likes to sleep. I don’t. This can be a problem sometimes but nowhere is this a bigger issue than when you’re sharing a room with a bed and an outlet and that’s it. If I could I’d be on my computer 24 hours a day watching video, chatting with friend, and writing. I have to cede that ground, particularly in the current setting my best friend and I are living in which is a bedroom at my grandfather’s house with my brother and his girlfriend in an adjacent room. It’s touchy but letting my best friend sleep when she needs it is recommended.
Living With Your Best Friend: Split chores/do chores or live in filth: I clean the bathroom. I make dinner and I clean up dinner dishes. My wife vacuums, does laundry, and generally cleans up after me. Splitting the household chores has made me and my best friend’s life that much easier. The alternative of living in filth is a choice, but not a choice for the long haul.
Living With Your Best Friend: Go to her: There are times when my best friend needs to just talk. Vent about something going on, cry, talk; whatever. It’s these moments when I’m reminded that I am so lucky to be married to my best friend. The conversation thing is a two way street also; I can always go to her when I need to making me doubly lucky!
Living With Your Best Friend: Have fun: Yes, you need to be responsible and worry about the bills and the chores and respecting boundaries and the BP Gulf oil spill all the other malaise of the modern world, but you have to have fun! You’ll never know for how long your best friend will be in your life or in your home anyway. Whether you’re married, dating, just friends, or Will & Grace having a little fun with your best friend can bring home memories you’ll have and cherish for a long time. Who knows? You could go from just friends to so much more!