News broke today that reality mega-star Kate Gosselin will star in a new dating show. A camera crew will accompany her as she tries to balance the search to replace love (or at least Jon) while carrying for her kids. (And, we must admit, the kids are truly beautiful and adorable.) Thinking about the needs of Kate Gosselin, her twins and her sextuplets, I offer a few suggestions for Kate’s first date. (People…not activities…but I do suggest that Kate steers away from dancing.)
1. Brad Pitt
The two probably have nothing in common…but think about Kate Gosselin’s needs before you completely rule out this choice. Brad obviously loves kids, he has lots of money and, if you read the tabloids, he and Angelina Jolie aren’t on their honeymoon anymore. Plus, Brad is probably used to being bossed around and he’s probably going to like Kate’s extensions…that blond due may even remind him of Jennifer.
2. Michael Bloomberg
Yes, that Michael Bloomberg….the one that is mayor of New York City. He’s been divorced for more than 10 years, long enough to be way past the rebound stage. Bloomberg may not look that sexy during those news conferences, but he’s likely the U.S.’s richest bachelor. He made a lot of money as a trader during the 90s, when the economy was good. He’s worth $16 million or so, depending on which magazine you read. (And these are business magazines, not tabloids.) Kate could relax and quit doing all of these shows. I think Kate could do well with a more mature man. And it would be an easy commute to New York City from Pennsylvania when Jon wants to spend time with the kids. What’s in it for Mayor Bloomberg? What politician would want a blond beauty like Kate Gosselin at his side. Plus, she’s been through a lot of scandals and that’s got to be great experience for a politician’s wife. Think of how cute those kids will look in Bloomberg’s commercials when he’s running for governor. And there’s a ready made reality show: Kate Plus Eight Plus the Governor’s Mansion.
3. Simon Cowell
Last I checked, this American Idol judge was still single. (Some people say he may be engaged to a make-up artist, but I would verify that, Kate, before I gave up.) Again, Simon can financially provide for the needs of Kate’s children. Kate may not want him attending their school plays or volunteering to coach little league. (Just imagine the tantrum he would pitch if one of the kids swung at a outside ball!) I think Simon could help Kate reach her full potential. And he would definitely give her an honest opinion about her ever-changing hairstyles. Simon may leave Kate Gosselin crying for a few hours, but she could count on him for an honest opinion!
4. Mario Lopez
O.K., this may be coming out of left field, but I was just thinking if I was famous and fairly attractive, he would be on my “what if” list. And, believe it or not, the age difference isn’t that much. Mario is nice on the eyes, but he offers a lot to Kate. I think he speaks Spanish, so the Gosselin household would get the benefit of becoming bilingual. He’s also a positive role model for the guys. I think he would make a great dad.
5. Al Gore (The Kate Gosselin/Al Gore Connection is so obvious…I should have listed it as 1.)
Kate Gosselin is a perfect match for the latest hot (or rich) bachelor to come onto the market, former vice president and Nobel Peace Prize winner Al Gore. Some might say Kate is no Tipper Gore, but maybe Al would like to crank up the Twisted Sister every now and then. Kate and Tipper do always have a every-hair-in-place hairdo. And, this would be a good project for Al. Think of the Gosselin carbon footprint he could reduce!
Okay Kate, that’s my advice. Any one else have some suggestions?