Ever wonder why we proclaim to be “in love” when we are not satisfied with our significant other? We have deep feelings for our mate and we go through the motions, yet our actions illustrate another picture. Is it better to “love” or be “in love?” Is there a difference?
In Genesis 2:18 the LORD God said “it is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helpmate,” and he created a woman.
When we are “in love” Cupid is in the mix. Emotions go crazy, and we have no control, yet the more we get the more we want! Full of excitement, and head over heels “in love,” we feel the need to share the moment with just about everyone. Being “in love” transforms us into a new person and we develop a radiant glow. We look good, we feel good, and we are committed without reservation. We find our companion delightful, irresistible, and adorable, and we think of them every second of the day. Words cannot describe being “in love,” yet our actions validate our feelings. We become attached, we value them as a person, we trust them, we respect and cherish them, we live and breathe them, we are sensitive to their needs, and we are considerate of their feelings. No matter what, being ‘in love’ is never painful. We will never hurt them nor will we will let anyone or anything destroy our happiness.
‘Love’ comes in a variety of expressions and people ‘love’ for various reasons. We ‘love’ ourselves, our family, and our friends, we ‘love’ our jobs, we ‘love’ life; thus, the list goes on. Some of us ‘love’ for convenience, and we will do almost anything for our companion until….the next best opportunity comes along. Some ‘love’ secretly to avoid shame and embarrassment because of age, gender or race. “Love” can be a physical attraction where sex is the main focus and we are totally uncommitted. ‘Love’ can be selfish in that we only think of ourselves, and anything and everything comes second. Sometimes ‘love’ can be misleading and unlovable, and the end result can one leave feeling angry, hurt, deserted, let down, rejected, devastated, cheated, and confused. ‘Love’ does not fall ‘in love.’ When we ‘love’ it’s a neutral decision to protect our hearts until we are ready to trust being ‘in love.’
When feelings are not mutual, it’s best to move on. Find someone who is lovely, and someone who wants to be “in love” with you because time is too valuable and precious to waste. What happened to integrity, dignity and pride?
Is it better to “love” or be “in love?” How do you know when someone is “in love” with you or if they are just going through the motions? How someone feels or don’t feel about you says much about them. How you respond says something about you. Nonetheless, life goes on in spite of our differences, and for whatever reason things do not work out, the outcome should not be painful. Whether it’s better to ‘love’ or be ‘in love,’ can’t we all just get along?