In general, the best approach to dating a woman of a different race is to simply treat her like any other woman you dated in the past. Avoid shifting the entire dynamic of your interaction into a discussion about your date’s race. Often, when a man is too focused on a woman’s race, it’s a red flag to her that he is not looking for anything substantive. Or he is totally clueless in terms of interacting with women, and people of different backgrounds.
The 5 Statements
I’m not usually attracted to Black (Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, etc) women but you’re really hot. That statement is not going to be perceived as a declaration of praise. This statement is akin to going to a job interview and saying, “I dislike every other branch within this company, but I really like this one so you should hire me.” That company is definitely not going to hire you. Avoid divulging that information to a potential romantic interest. It might make you feel good to share that, but chances are it will not make your date feel good about you.
I have lots of Black (Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, etc) friends. Statements like this have no impact on your interaction with any woman you date, so why make them? A statement like this does not earn you “cool points,” a second date, or anything else. If a woman is out on a date with you, she is not interested in hearing you detail every person from her racial group you have ever encountered in your life. It’s really not fascinating conversation that your date cares to hear, or anyone else. It definitely ranks as one of the most overused statements in America.
Is your hair real? Along with asking a woman her weight, bra size, or if her body has been surgically enhanced this question should not be a part of first date dialogue. Oddly enough, I have actually had guys ask all of those questions in the past on first dates. I am aware that nowadays many woman wear extensions in their hair, and have plastic surgery, but I do not think those are ideal topics of conversation on a first date. We are trying to establish if we even get along at all. So why are you asking questions like that?
I only date Black (Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, etc) women. Normally, this statement signifies the precursor to a guy making off the wall statements about how ______ women have certain physical attributes, or the guy ends up revealing creepy details on why he only dates women from a particular race outside of his own. In any case, it always seems bizarre. Gentlemen, if this is how you truly feel please keep it to yourself. It really is too much information. No woman wants to feel as though she is a part of a man’s “fetishism,” where it’s more about how she looks than who she is as an individual. A woman wants to feel desired as a distinctive person not because of the hue of her skin, hair color, or because of a particular body part.
My whole family loves Obama. I had to mention this one. As a person who recently joined eHarmony I was communicating with a guy on that website a few days ago. “My whole family loves Obama,” was a large chunk of my very first email from the guy. Considering I made no mention of politics in my profile, and I had never brought up politics in our previous guided communication, it was just a bit random. I am actually an Independent, and I have dated both Liberals and Conservatives in the past. When I date a guy, it is not about a person’s political views as much as his ability to have a conversation about politics and agree to disagree when our views differ. My point here is no need to instantly share that you voted for Obama with every ethnic person you date. This one is not a deal breaker it’s just funny.
If you actually want to try to get to a second date with a woman of another race, just keep it simple. Say something nice, but stick to basic compliments unrelated to her race.