There was a time in my life before I had children when I thought I had things figured out. I sat and watched other people with their children with such bias, basing my own opinion on what I just “knew”. But of course as any parent knows, there are two sections to your life: Before Kids and After Kids. (This time split is the equivalent of going from B.C. to A.D.) Before Kids, you know everything about how to raise kids and people be damned to tell you anything about it! After Kids, you realize that everything you knew is pure (insert vulgar word here).
Before Kids
You see a child pitching a fit in the store and think, “If I was that kid’s Momma, I’d have left the store with him immediately.”
After Kids
While it’s nice in theory, in the real world, if you don’t get that gallon of milk now, you’ll have to drag yourself and the child back to the store later and potentially risk another meltdown. And really, what mom has the time to stop the clock every single time Junior pitches a fit? We’d never get anything done.
Before Kids
If I saw a kid hit his little sister, and Mom only says, “Stop it,” I’d think, “There is no way in hell that I’d let a child of mine get by with hitting his sibling like that!”
After Kids
Siblings fight. With two boys, I know there’s no way I can police them all of the time. If we’re out somewhere, I do make a weak effort to stop the non-sense but otherwise, unless they are gouging each others eyes out or drawing blood, I try to let them solve things on their own.
Before Kids
I would see a child dressed remarkably weird, wearing a bath towel as a cape or a tutu with pajamas. There was no reason for a child to be dressed like that. A parent has to put their foot down.
After Kids
Around the age of three, kids start wanting to pick out their own clothing. Last year around Halloween, my son loved his doctor’s costume so much that he wore it clothes for three days. Yes, I still bathed him but he wanted that costume on afterward and even wanted to sleep in it. I knew eventually he’d get tired of it like he does everything else. It’s not the worst thing in the world to cater to a child’s imagination. Who cares if he got some “looks” when we went out? Not him and not me. There are more important things to focus on than what your kids want to wear.
Before Kids
I used to see these kids running around with dirt and food on their faces and wonder what in the crap parents were thinking letting them run around like that.
After Kids
Kids get dirty. There is no stopping it. And if you try to catch every particle, that’s all you’ll ever do. I don’t care to be on constant sentry duty with a wipe in my hand, thank you. Sometimes my kids will be dirty. My concern is rightfully directed to them being clean when they crawl into bed at night.
Before Kids
There’s no way I’d ever let my child go to bed without brushing their teeth. It was unthinkable!
After Kids
Every once in awhile, kids fall asleep before they can actually put themselves into bed. One thing I realized early in parenting is that if you wake a deeply sleeping child, be prepared for an extremely cranky (and possibly screaming and flailing) child. It doesn’t happen very often but if my kids happen to fall asleep before we make it to bed before I’ve had a chance to brush their teeth, it’s not the end of the world if his teeth doesn’t get brushed that night.
In any case, if you’re one of those people who thinks they have parenting all figured out before having kids, you’re in for a real treat when you do decide to have them! Don’t be so quick to judge other parents for their actions when you haven’t been there yourself.
Source: Personal Experience
