Many people carry around the dark secret of herpes and are fearful of rejection when it comes to telling a person they feel they may become sexually intimate with. It’s very important though that you tell your potential partner that you have herpes. After all it is their personal choice if they want to take the risk of potentially contracting the virus.
One of the worst things you can do is begin your relationship without full trust. Some people with herpes abstain from sex during an outbreak and practice safe sex during the times they are absence of an outbreak. This method is not only unfair to your partner as you are putting them at risk, but it is also not a way to carry on a healthy relationship.
When it comes time to share this information with your partner its important you do it prior to developing deep feelings for your partner. If your partner decides they are not ready to handle your infection this could end up with your feelings hurt worse then had you been honest upfront in the beginning.
Be confident when discussing herpes with your potential sexually intimate partner. When you are confident you can calmly explain the virus, outbreaks and ways of preventing them from contacting the virus themselves. When you can be confident about your virus it helps your partner understand that there are ways to prevent them from getting infected and enters you both into an open conversation.
Knowing when to talk to your partner is another important thing to remember. Bringing up your virus in a crowded area could have a reverse effect if the conversation does not go well. It could also lead to others finding out that you would prefer not to know. Bringing up your herpes infection after sex is another way not to bring it up and this goes without further explanation. Also it’s best not to bring it up right before your partner attempts to have sex with you. This could lead to misguided feelings and having your partner angry or upset with you for waiting so long.
Maybe you’re clueless on how to start the conversation with your partner. Below is a list of ways you may possibly start conversations to lead into talking about having herpes.
• Before we go any further in our relationship. I think we should be honest with each other about our sexual histories.
• I have something I would like to discuss with you on a personal nature.
• We get along so well and I think we owe it to each other to make sure we do what’s best for each other and ourselves, do you mind if we talk about safe sex practices?
Finally give your partner time to think and let the subject sink in. Never expect them to give you a response on the spot. This may be what makes or breaks your deal in a future long term sexual relationship. Keep in mind that some people may have a negative reaction; this is not a reflection on you but on the herpes virus itself. For every one person who reacts negatively there may be 4 or 5 who react positively and are willing to accept you for who you are.
Tips for Telling Someone You Have Herpes
Herpes & Relationships: How to Tell