The problem with dating a bona fide Mama’s Boy is that you’ll never be the number one woman in his life; his mother will always come first, and you will habitually be his second priority. Some women are okay with that truth; if so – congratulations! You can go through the joys of motherhood without the nine-month pregnancy (but those diaper changes are going to be a huge mess). If the idea of dating a fully-grown manchild leaves you feeling a bit nauseated, you may want to look out for these signs:
If his food choice tendencies lean more toward peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, as opposed to steak and potatoes, you might be dating a mama’s boy. If it’s just an innocent hankering for Pop Tarts and Fruit Roll-Ups every now and then, there is probably nothing to worry about. However, if sugary kiddie snacks are daily staples in his food repertoire, you better go find yourself a beef eater STAT. Otherwise, he’s going to start asking you to make the PB & J’s for him (and don’t forget to remove the crust, Mom).
If his call log has at least one phone call into his mother per day, you might be dating a mama’s boy. Now, if your relationship is new, you can’t very well go snooping into his call log, but you can covertly gauge who he is calling while in your presence. If he doesn’t seem to be talking to many men or business contacts on the phone, there’s a problem. Men without male friends tend to be mama’s boys of the worst case, because they can’t learn about healthy grown male behavior from their peers.
Even if it is meant as a compliment, a new boyfriend should never – I repeat never – compare you to his mother. If he ever says, “Your smile reminds me of my mom’s,” or “These green beans aren’t cooked like my mom’s,” you might be dating a mama’s boy. To the person you are dating, you should always be the most important person in the room. If he keeps bringing up Mom during dinner, though, it’s hard to maintain your confidence, which is vital in the beginning stages of a relationship.
If you ever notice passive aggressive tendencies in his tone, whether he is speaking to you or to a complete stranger, you might be dating a mama’s boy. Passive aggressiveness is a learned behavior, one that he most likely picked up from Mommy Dearest. A mother who raises her son to be dependent upon her often instills guilt deep within her son’s soul out of fear that he will grow up and become a man someday and, ultimately, leave her all alone (this is often the case with divorced or widowed mothers).
One of the greatest aspects of being in a relationship is recognizing each other’s feminine/masculine differences; but, if you are a woman dating a man who “just understands women so well” because of his close relationship with his mom, you may eventually get turned off and start looking elsewhere.
Always remember: You deserve to be someone’s number one priority.