If you do a Google search on ‘Enhance Female Libido’ or ‘Low Sex Drive in Women,’ pages and pages of informational links will appear. More and more women are looking for a way to enhance or revive their sex lives. Sexual dysfunctions of some kind of another are affecting millions of women across the globe and can be very confusing as well as depressing. Women of all ages are looking for answers to why their previously satisfying sex lives have dwindled or died.
There are many causes for low libido in women such as poor overall health, low body image, hormonal fluctuations associated with aging and menopause, mental roadblocks or maybe even the lack of a loving and compassionate partner. But no matter what the reason, there are things that women can do to take charge of this temporary situation and enhance female libido. With the right mindset and the proper knowledge, you CAN get your ‘mojo’ back!!
What you’ll need:
Patience and perseverance
A basic understanding of the problem
A desire to get your ‘mojo’ back
Acceptance of Self
Get a Thorough Physical Examination
It is highly recommended for all women to get a complete physical examination once a year. By doing this, you will rule out any medical issues that may be contributing to your lack of or lowered libido. Be sure to be frank as you discuss your concerns with your doctor. Bring along a list of questions. Your doctor may be able to offer a solution and help you understand why this is going on and what can be done to improve the situation.
Assess Medications and their side effects
If you are being treated for a medical condition, ask your doctor if the prescribed medicine has any known side affects that may be contributing to your lack of desire. Many anti-depressants, for instance, may help you battle your depression, but have the unpleasant residue of affecting your response to and desire for sex. If this is the case, ask your doctor to prescribe a medication that does not cause this side-affect. Remember to disclose a complete account of all vitamin/mineral and herbal supplements you take on a regular basis so your physician is better able to make educated suggestions about what you can do to help increase libido.
Practice Positive Self-Talk
Our mind is a powerful tool. It can direct our thoughts in any direction we want them to if we are aware and in control. It is most important to visualize who you want to be with your mind. And it is even more important to accept the new and changing you. Even though you may have gained a few pounds over the years, you are still beautiful and desirable. Tell yourself these things daily and often! Believe the things you are saying! It’s true that you aren’t 20 anymore but that’s okay! Aging as gracefully as possible is something all women should strive for. With age comes experience and knowledge. Women grow to know their bodies and minds with each passing year. That in itself can be viewed as liberation. We know what we like and how to achieve it. Use this time in your life to REINVENT your sexual self! Hey, you’re not a youthful ‘diva’ any longer, but you ARE a vibrant, healthy and desirable woman! Believe it every day! After all, you ARE what you THINK you are!
Investigate Hormone Levels
With the onset of menopause various hormonal changes will try to wreak havoc on us. It has been compared to the journey we took through puberty, only backwards! This can be a very confusing time as we try to analyze what is actually going on within our bodies. Mental reactions to these changes can be negative and self- defeating and work strongly to inhibit our passionate selves. After spending the majority of our lives as fertile and virile women, we now are left wondering things such as when our next menstrual cycle might decide to show up or why we are shying away from intimacy with our significant other. Your doctor can perform a simple blood analysis to determine your hormone levels and tell you where you are in terms of your menopausal journey. As women begin to ovulate less, estrogen levels may take a plunge. There are estrogen creams and pills available to help balance these levels to inspire and revive intimacy levels again. Testosterone levels speak an important role in women’s sexual health, too, so don’t forget to address this with your doctor as well. Sometimes a combination of both testosterone and estrogen creams can be prescribed, which are applied topically to help achieve balance. If you are not a good candidate for hormone therapy, there are many bio-identical hormone treatments now available that pose less health risks. Over the counter topical lubricants and stimulants may be of help as well.
Chart your Progression
It is very eye opening to chart your menopausal journey as it is happening so that you are better able to discuss details with your doctor during scheduled visits. Use a blank calendar to keep track of your changing cycle, being sure to make note of spotting, extended periods or ones that are totally absent for months on end. Remember to continue birth control usage as a ‘surprise pregnancy’ would undoubtedly be devastating at this point in life. It is only after one year of not having a menstrual cycle that we are considered to have ‘gone through menopause’ and are not fertile any longer. Keeping a written journal may be helpful, as well, and may help you to identify fears and negative feelings you have that may be holding you back from enjoying/initiating/desiring sex.
To Thine Own Self Be True – and In Touch
Since there is no medical reason why women can’t have fulfilling sex lives well into their later years, keep open and in touch with yourself. Sure, it may take a little longer to achieve arousal but it definitely can be accomplished! If you do not have a loving and patient partner, remember that you always have yourself! Self stimulation can reward us with many health benefits and is a great way to remind ourselves of what we love and should not give up on! Throw away all the negative and/or guilty feelings you may be harboring about self-pleasuring. For some, this is a difficult one based on what kind of sexual atmosphere you were raised in. But it can be done. Our minds are our most powerful tools and we need to USE them! By keeping in tune with our own bodies, we are more apt to keep them alive and responsive. Learn what turns you on and you’ll surely want more!
Talk Openly With Your Significant Other
Rather than shutting him/her out, it is best to include your significant other in what’s going on with you. Chances are you’ll find much compassion and understanding as you strive to improve the situation. By discussing your innermost feelings with them, they will be assured that they are not to blame or that you just don’t want them anymore. Sex with your loved one is not the ONLY thing that binds you together. You have had years of trials and tribulations to get through and you did it together. Your lack or dwindled desire levels are just another thing to get through – together! By keeping an open dialog going, you may be surprised to learn that they are facing many of the same fears and confusions as you are. Hugging, cuddling and sharing feelings are all different forms of intimacy and can each lead to more in the right time and place! Go for it!
Any Exercise is Better than None
It’s a proven fact that exercise stimulates blood flow, strengthens our minds and bodies and helps to increase our acceptance of self. It is something that so many of us deny ourselves for countless lame reasons. Exercise and sex both release ‘feel good’ endorphins. The more you exercise (or have sex) to release these endorphins, the easier it is to attain arousal and sexual pleasure in the future! Studies have shown that women who exercise more frequently become aroused easier and achieve faster and more intense orgasms! Make it a point to get your heart rate up each and every day. Even a brisk walk around the block will reap many long-term health benefits while adding the additional bonuses of increased libido and better response for a satisfying sexual experience.
Love (and accept) the New and Changing You
It’s not unusual to be feeling low with all the new changes in yourself. Whether this is due to aging, having had a serious medical issue or surgery to deal with or any other life-altering event, ACCEPTANCE is a necessary step. Without acceptance, we can’t move forward. When you look in the mirror each day, remind yourself that you are beautiful and a unique child of God. Instead of counting new wrinkles and grey hairs, which will only draw you deeper into your self loathing, SMILE and congratulate yourself for having earned each and every one of them. Life isn’t easy but it IS fulfilling and full of landmark moments. THIS is a landmark moment for you now. You have grown and changed with the ebbs and flows of your life! Take special notice (and be grateful for) your children, grandchildren, family, friends and accomplishments! Try to look at yourself and see what others see! Do they see a sad, tired and angry face? Or are you presenting your BEST self to the world with twinkling eyes and a smile??? Fretting over what ‘could have been’ instead of what IS is futile and unnecessary. As the old saying goes – We cannot fully love another until we learn to love ourselves!