I’d like to point out that there is a difference between appearing glamorous and actually leading a glamorous life. Certainly, the type of life style led by many young celebrities like Lindsay Lohan is a most unglamorous one. Trashy parties with guys who look like gang bangers, shoving white powder up your nose, fighting with your assistant, running down innocent people with your car while drinking and getting slapped with a DUI charge while being forced to wear an ugly SCRAM alcohol monitoring device are examples of exactly how not to lead a glamorous life.
For people like Lindsay Lohan, the best they can do is fake it. This is what makes these mules in horse harnesses so much fun to watch. With so many of these young, so-called celebrities, there’s the sequined gown image right along side the scary mugshot image. This must be difficult for them to reconcile in their own minds!
So, while actually leading a truly glamorous life seems, at this point, almost impossible for someone like Lindsay Lohan, it is possible to project such an image, especially with the help of make-up artists, drivers, security guards, personal assistants and those wonderfully talented artists who airbrush photos.
Here is some advice for someone who is in this position of not really being very glamorous owing to numerous stints in rehab, court appointments and unattractive legal-wear, but who, nonetheless, wants to fake it:
#1 Have your seamstress sew matching sequined covers for your SCRAM device that matches all of your most sophisticated gowns.
#2. Hire a stunt driver to run down all the people you are mad at instead of doing all of that exhausting high-speed chasing yourself.
#3. Hire a ventriloquist for interviews so that when you’ve been out all night drinking and coking it up, your voice sounds as fresh as the morning dew instead of all hoarse and raspy.
#4. Make sure whoever you date is, at least, as glamorous-looking as you are.
#5 When in doubt, glue rhinestones on it!
#6. Always keep your nose powdered just in case of arrest. A well-powdered face photographs better.
#7. Always dress your best for court appearances. A conservative, well-tailored suit is a good choice.
#8. Hire a prize fighter to do your most serious face breaking for you. It’s not glamorous to punch people in the face and besides it’s pretty hard to keep your balance while duking it out in high heels.
#9. Always cover your blood-shot, bleary eyes from partying all night long and lack of make-up with big, dark sunglasses.
#10. Always carry your drugs in an elegant purse whenever you visit your parole officer.
These are just a few tips for people like Lindsay Lohan. Of course, it is all tongue in cheek because no matter how matter how many pretty dresses, how much expensive jewelry, how large your entourage or how much money you make real glamor – real chic – is only an illusion unless you have some kind of integrity.
The best way to appear glamorous is to actually lead an enviable and admirable life.
You may remember the real glamor girls of decades past like Jackie O and Grace Kelly. They are examples of real glamor, not just the shoddy, illusions.