Both men and women, in general, give to others the things that they need themselves. For example, people who need a lot of attention give a lot of attention. This usually happens by nature, not because the person is expecting something in return.
When it comes to how your wife wants to be treated there are about 5 suggestions that I have for men based on my own experiences and observations.
Since one size does NOT fit all, when it comes to women, pay attention to what your woman gives out. Her actions will tell you what she needs.
Ask her open-ended questions –
For example, instead of saying “Do you think you will ever learn to like sports?” Ask her, “What is it that you do not like about sports?” Truly listen to her response. Then draw your next question from her answer. You will be surprised and amazed at what you find out just by asking open-ended questions that require more than a Yes or No answer.
The key to learning your woman is to get her talking. Most of us love to talk so this is a win-win for both you and her.
Romance her –
This may look different from woman to woman. Some women love flowers and candlelight dinners while others like poems, slow jams, or just a walk through the park. Romancing your woman includes actions that let her know you are thinking about her. This does not equate to spending money. If there are things that she wants and you have the funds then go ahead because this is thoughtful as well.
However, it is typically the everyday romantic gestures that stand out the most. This includes text messages during the day that let her know you are thinking of her, you love her, that you can’t wait to see her later, etc. Again, you would be surprised at how a simple text message can lift your woman’s spirits during the day.
This could also be a gesture as simple as walking up and embracing her while she is washing dishes, offering to wash her hair for her, or bringing home her favorite cookies.
Promote Her –
When introducing your woman to others, make sure to introduce her with pride. Women love when their man is proud to introduce them. This lets your woman know you are excited and happy that she is yours.
When others ask you about her, make sure to always speak of her in happy and excited tones. You never who knows who. When you spend time promoting her it typically has a way of getting back to her. Promote her talents such as her career success, her singing talent, her home business, her cooking, etc. Every woman has something that is worthy of being promoted. When you promote her she will certainly reciprocate the effort.
Self-evaluate –
Does your woman have short falls? Of course she does. She is human.
When you feel it necessary to speak to her about her faults, make sure to approach it with care and caution. You should certainly express your concerns to her but an accusatory tone will only cause her to get defensive and shut down.
Before approaching her, think about your own short falls and how you would want her to approach you. Then when you are ready, sit down and have a talk with her where you are open an honest. In this instance, it helps again, to use those open-ended questions to get her talking. Taking this approach may help lead her to see the problem for herself and/or it will help you to understand her mind frame and why she does things a certain way.
Be consistent –
There is an old school song that says “The same it took to get your baby hooked, it takes the same thing to keep her.” This applies whether you have been married 2 days, 2 years, or 20 or more years.
It is important to maintain the things you did in the beginning such as opening your woman’s car door, running your fingers through her hair, complimenting her, bringing her a single red rose, cooking her favorite meal, or whatever it was that you did to hook her in the beginning.
Don’t get comfortable. Of course she loves you but if you want to keep her on fire for you then consistency is important. When your woman feels loved and feels sexy then she is reminded to also continue the things she did to gain your attention in the beginning.
My best advice for any man is to continually spend time learning your woman because her wants and needs will change from time to time. Remember, she is a gift from God. Treasure her, protect her, honor her, always….even when you have had a bad day, even when she gets on your nerves, even when you do not feel like it……that is what long-term love and commitment requires.
“Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself.”
Ephesians 5:20-21; 25-33a
Reference: http://www.clarion-call.org/extras/husbwife.htm
