When a child is young a mother can shield them from danger, they can hold their child’s hand while crossing the street and teach them to look both ways before stepping out into possible danger, but as the child grows older the power to protect slowly fades away. The mother of a grown child is forced to bear the agonizing pain when her child is suffering or in danger. Her child must now make its own decisions. How deep the wounds of a mother’s aching heart when her adult child is snatched away and the abductor is alcohol.
Sleep becomes a loop of nightmares playing over and over in her unconscious mind as she twist and turns in darkness. Each day begins in horror, fear of the unknown has crept into her life and befriended her although she wishes they had never met; she is powerless and unable to end the tortuous, abusive relationship.
With each episode of her child’s weakness she too becomes drunk, and as her heart floats helplessly atop an ocean of salty tears guilt taunts her. Her love for her child won’t allow her heart to harden; although her baby is now grown her need to nurture lives on; for she knows not this thing called tough love. She cannot turn her back and walk away.
In silent desperation she reaches out for help, but she is not the victim of the deadly liquid. It is her beloved child; he is the one being held captive. Mother no longer has the power to protect and save. A stranger’s words pierce her tender heart as they seep into her ears and crush her soul. “I understand your pain, as an adult, he has to ask for help…I’m sorry there is nothing you can do but give your child this number and hope they will call.”
She prays to her God and asks Him daily to have mercy on the child she no longer can shield from danger. She pleads with her child to get help, but he is fighting the demons of addiction. Denial has its grip on her child. Yet, she refuses give up, she cannot sit idle and watch her precious flower wither away. Mother gathers her dwindling strength for the hardest fight of her life; she must save her child.
Undying love and words are her weapons, faith is her shield; she prepares to battle the demon that has stolen her child’s life away. She washes away her tears daily, and as she struggles to reach her child with tender loving words she continuously prays for strength and guidance.
She will realize her dream when her child finally accepts reality, the words may sting when she hears her child say, “Mother, I want help...” Tears of hope creep down her face, the pain will slip away as her beloved child slowly begins to live again; for only the child can remove the chains that have kept him in bondage. Mother no longer feels powerless for she has led her child to the door and watches with loving eyes as he walks through.
A Mother Can Help Their Adult Child Choose To Get Help
Alcoholism and binge drinking is a battle that the alcoholic must fight, but a mother’s love can help one see, accept and reach out for the help needed to overcome the disease. It is not easy, a mother will suffer with their child no matter how old they are, but there is hope.
Things A Mother Can Do
Educate yourself about the disease of alcoholism. Learn what problem drinking and binge drinking is, and how dangerous they are so you can share this information with your child. Understand that your adult child is suffering and it is very hard to over-come denial; but not impossible. Reassure your child that they are not a “bad” person. Help them understand that alcohol is a powerful, toxic drug that can and will destroy their body and mind.
Be prepared to give your child resources; phone numbers to rehab centers, offer to go with them to AA meetings or take them, provide them with information that explains how alcohol affects the body and brain. An alcoholic will think, “It’s easy for you to say get help.” because they do not know where to turn for help and they are afraid.
Sadly, many people tell an alcoholic to get help, but are not prepared to offer resources. Have the numbers available at all times, write it down on a piece of paper and give it to your child. Be ready for the day they admit that they have a problem and need help; if you are prepared with the resources and numbers that they can call it can make a big difference.
Remember, your child may be an adult but they probably feel down about themselves, they may be suffering with depression, which alcohol can cause, so don’t condemn them. Be positive and loving, make them realize they are a worthwhile human being; do not enable them to continue drinking.
Sadly, the only tools you have is your love, patience, and persistence. You cannot not force an adult with a drinking problem to get help. But do not give up on your grown child who has become a victim of alcohol, fight for them and with them, enable them to open their eyes and fight for their life.
Helpful Information To Get You Started: