The episode begins with the ladies at the breakfast table. Melanie announces that she has extended her lease and wants to sell her house in Los Angeles; and the only question the ladies want to know is where will she get her Botox?
Joy who is always trading barbs with Elka is lamenting that she was given the phone number of a guy fifteen years younger than her and they have a date this evening. Elka overhears Joy saying that she has never dated a younger man and says that it’s disgusting to be robbing the cradle. Joy retorts to the effect that if she is old; was Ohio even a state when Elka was born? Victoria just used the last cotton ball and asks Elka where the nearest Neiman Marcus is. Elka tells her Chicago, but there is a Big and Easy just down the street and that she got her outfit there three for ten dollars. Victoria decides to go to Big and Easy to see real people in their natural habitat.
Elka asks the three ladies what they would like for breakfast. Melanie asks if she cooks. She replies that she also gives advice like Drama from Entourage. Joy pops up with; ‘˜you watch Entourage, you seem more like a Weeds viewer to me.’ Elka states that Weeds is so unrealistic. So Melanie asks for egg whites, Victoria will have half a grapefruit with Splenda and Joy will have steel cut oats with seasonal berries. Elka replies ‘˜pancakes and bacon, coming up!’
Melanie is trying to get Elka to call back one of the men she met the other night at the bar. She has three to choose from the guys who gave her their numbers. She tells Melanie a little bit about them so she can help her choose. Arthur can drive at night, Larry has that nice full ring of hair and Sal has both original hips which is sexy as Hell. But Elka has misgivings and does not want to call because she does not really know how to call a man. Melanie offers her some help, but it does not go well.
So Joy goes on her date. She is having a dessert with him and he tells her how much he loves her English accent. He tells her that he was actually born in England and given up for adoption by his English mother to an American couple. She is next seen running back into the kitchen announcing that she thinks she is dating her son!
Victoria walks in with tons of paper products that she got from Big and Easy. She recalls that she spent less for all this than what she spent for vermouth last month. Then suddenly realizes that she forgot the vermouth. Melanie asks if they are still open and she says they never close. She replies that they welcome all people day and night, just like Hell.
The girls give Joy advice as to how to get the DNA from her new beau which does not go well. Until he realizes what she is doing and the jig is up. She tells him that she may be his mother, but he already knows his birth mother and that’s how the relationship ends; awkwardly!
Elka finally goes but drags Melanie on a double date, and poor Melanie is fixed up with a guy on oxygen and on top of it all is hard of hearing. He turns out to be a handy man in more ways than one and does not take no for an answer because he cannot hear it.
So Joy and Melanie head over to Big and Easy because they are afraid that Victoria is hooked on buying. They find her there and she is signing everyone’s products and they are thrilled to see the star. She is a real celebrity in this place. She tells her friends that since her series was cancelled, she has been feeling very down. But suddenly an announcement comes over the loudspeaker that a new hero sandwich is being introduced called the “Victoria Chase.” So she is a hero to some!
Elka ‘” Betty White
Melanie ‘” Valerie Bertinelli
Joy ‘” Jane Leeves
Victoria ‘” Wendie Malick