Why Do Men Cheat? was posed as a hot-button topic. And it’s not a new one on AC. The question draws readers like a magnet, enhancing page views and perhaps attention across the Internet. But what I found most interesting when I asked the question was that folks had opinions on the subject. Whether the question was answered was less important than what I learned from what people said. Expressed as public comments, I discovered more about what folks thought about the question. The answers are still out there.
The Punt
Most interesting to me was that some folks deflected the question-punted toward others, so to speak, particularly to women. ‘Why do women cheat’ was a frequent comment in response to the question ‘why do men cheat.’ Posing another question in answer to the original question isn’t answering the question, is it? Furthermore, another answer further posed the more far-reaching question, ‘why does anybody cheat?’ My take-away from those comments is that the problem is worse–perhaps just more widespread–than we thought.
To Question or Not To Question the Assumption
Agreed: The question ‘why do men cheat’ assumes that men cheat. It’s a way to ask a generalized question without taking into account-and with all due respect to–all the guys that don’t.
Comments were divided on whether to question the assumption. A few pronounced the question as a good one, implying that the assumption had merit. Yet others attacked the question, and thereby the assumption that men cheat, as unfair and just plain wrong. Denying the assumption that men cheat is tantamount to asking me to assume that no men do-something I personally think nobody can swallow either.
The assumption is a starting point, with all of its flaws. Theories are proposed all the time, accompanied by assumptions, such as they are. In the probe for answers to any question, some ground rules, in the form of assumptions, must be applied. Truth is found where the assumptions are valid.
Nothing Personal
I thought it curious that no one spoke for themselves. ‘I know a gal who cheats’ or ‘I know plenty of guys who don’t’ constituted comments about third parties regarding cheating. I hoped that the guys who said they knew guys who didn’t cheat were really speaking for themselves, although none said that specifically. I can understand why a guy might not want to reveal his personal state of chastity. Perhaps it’s not a thing to be proud of. And that tells me something right there.
Others cited expert opinion on the subject. As if the experts know more about it than we do, we check with those more knowledgeable and cite what they think. I ask you, who knows more about you than you? If you send me to somebody else, I am liable to regard their answers as hearsay. But that’s just me.
So, the published question ‘Why Do Men Cheat?’ raised more questions and concerns than answers. Although I learned a lot, it remains an intriguing question and a hot-button topic, perhaps for all time.
