The “Guys Choice Awards 2010,” an event presented by Spike TV, sounds like something Tim Taylor from “Home Improvement” would love. Though the air in Culver City was heavy with testosterone on Saturday, June 5 (the night of the taping), both the male and female celebrities let their hair down, foregoing the pageantry of an event like the Oscars.
Sitting in the press room at Sony Studios, I was able to see the live show on a monitor, which contained no bleeps, 7-second delays or digital blurring of offensive gestures. When Spike TV broadcasts the event on June 20, here are 10 good reasons to tune in (or at least set up the DVR to record it):
10) F-Bombs bursting in air. Almost every award presenter and winner had some kind of R or X-Rated comment to make–celebrities freely dropped multiple F-Bombs, or variations of the F-Bomb while on stage. The censors will have to work overtime to get this footage ready for broadcast, but if Spike TV makes an unrated DVD available for purchase, I would suggest buying it.
9) Love them golden “Mantlers.” The official Spike TV “Guys Choice Award” is a sculpted, spray-painted set of antlers mounted on a trophy base. Unlike the Oscar, which the Hollywood community treats with reverence, the winners looked at their “Mantlers” like they didn’t know what to do with them.
8) Sir Ben Kingsley is hilarious just reading books. Looking like something from PBS, Sir Ben Kingsley read passages from the two books nominated for “Literary Achievement.” Suffice it to say, his dramatic readings from Tracy Morgan’s “I Am the New Black” and Ozzy Osbourne’s “I Am Ozzy” are enough to bring tears to your eyes.
7) Charlize Theron’s “9 Years of Hotness.” Spike TV gave a pair of Golden Mantlers to Charlize Theron, giving her the “Guys Choice Award” for a “Decade of Hotness.” Theron goes into a long explanation of why it should only be “9 Years of Hotness.”
6) Everybody loves Ozzy. Still a consummate entertainer, Ozzy Osbourne gave a spirited rendition of the song “Iron Man” to honor Robert Downey, Jr.’s win at the “Guys Choice Awards 2010.”
5) Chris Rock as the new Snapple Spokesman. Winning a uniquely-named comedy award, Chris Rock took center stage, talking about his 17 years in the business and what he had to do to get a part in a Snapple commercial back in the day. Snapple may or may not be happy with what he said, but it brought the house down.
4) Jessica Biel honors Zoe Saldana. Guys like action movies and the hot women who appear in those films. Although Jessica Biel took the “Guys Choice Award” for the “Holy Grail of Hot,” she paid tribute to nominee Zoe Saldana in her own special way.
3) George Clooney as “Guy of the Year.” George Clooney won Spike TV’s “Guy of the Year Award,” peppering his acceptance speech with profanity and rude finger gestures. The censors may reduce that speech to just 15 seconds.
2) An out-of-control Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog. Making a triumphant return to television, Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog from “Late Night with Conan O’Brien,” held court for a good 7 minutes, giving out the “Guys Choice Awards” for celebrities who were complete jerks (the awards actually were named after a classic feminine hygiene product). The pretty boys from the “Twilight Saga,” Justin Bieber and Jesse James were all skewered by Triumph, but his comedy bits are too raunchy to be reprinted here, though.
1) Sandra Bullock honors the troops. Sandra Bullock’s surprise appearance on the “Guys Choice Awards 2010” has the Internet buzzing. As part of Spike TV’s support of America’s fighting men and women, the network invited several members of the Armed Forces to the show. In full dress uniform, they gave Sandra Bullock the “Troops Choice Award.”
Bullock, looking stunning in a tight dress, gave her own award back to the troops. “Our extraordinary troops deserve something much more than some actress in a tight dress talking about herself. I would sing, but you have seen enough pain in your lifetime,” she said.
“I would dance-I’m a pretty good dancer-but, as I mentioned, the dress is pretty tight. So I would like do something I always wanted to do and thank you. I want to thank all the men and women that make it possible for me to wake up and speak freely and think freely, to make choices freely.”
The edited version of Spike TV’s “Guys Choice Awards 2010” will be broadcast on Sunday, June 20 at 10 pm EST/9 pm CST.