Men are weird creatures that are often misunderstood. Trust me, as a man, I know. However, men are much more like women in relationships than we would like us to believe. Men have a need to consult and talk with other men regarding their relationships and they also like talking about the times they are intimate with women. The difference is that men sometimes talk about their sex lives in a good way and others talk about it in a much more direct way.
Who Men Talk To
If a man is happy about his sex life he will usually not say much. We men will tend to drop hints about our happiness like “I had a great night last night with….” Or perhaps something like “I don’t think I want to date anyone else right now.” Good things get reported to close friends.
When something bad happens in bed it becomes a gripe fest. Even total strangers at work or at the gym may become a target for “I can’t believe she didn’t…” or some other comments that aren’t very nice. Depending upon the circumstances, good news gets told to best friends and bad news gets spread everywhere.
When a man talks about his sex life to other men it can be a very uplifting experience. You can tell a man is over the moon about his intimacy when it’s all about the other person. Talking about how much she was into the moment, how she was kissing, how her skin felt, are all very healthy things to talk about regarding the experience.
Another sign that it may be a healthy way to talk about a good thing in the bedroom is what happened the rest of the night. “We stayed up and cuddled for three hours and then fell asleep in each other’s arms” is one marker that things went well.
An unhappy experience in bed gets talked about for much longer. Men will use other men as a springboard for advice at this point. “Do you think she still wants to be with her ex?” is one clue that perhaps the bedroom performance was less than exemplary.
Unfortunately for men, and I think this is true for any relationship, if things go badly it doesn’t matter with whom to lay the blame. No one wins when the other person starts talking about the horribleness of a sexual encounter and it’s usually about how the opposite person didn’t perform. “I asked her to do something and she just couldn’t go through with it.” In a situation like that, it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault but the other person gets the brunt of the frustration.
Men do kiss and tell to other men about sex. We just do it in a more subtle way if things are going well and much more bluntly when things go badly.