Personally, I feel that all states should legally allow the union of two people, regardless of their sex. Whether it is legalized or not, I am a firm believer in commitment. That commitment is more than just a piece of paper that says two people are a couple, it’s a commitment of mind, body and soul, that two people are a couple. A piece of paper does not make a relationship, the people involved do. A piece of paper does not hold two people together, it’s just a piece of paper and is not that strong. Marriages can happen with or without a piece of paper from the state. A piece of paper does not guarantee love, honestly, not cheating on one another, etc.
I believe that two people, regardless of their sex or age difference, should be allowed to enter into the act of a legalized marriage, as long as they are not related in any way by blood, marriage, or adoption. I have known straight couples who have successfully been in relationships for extended periods of time, and also those who divorce at the first opportunity to resolve a conflict. I have also known gay couples who have been in the same type of relationships.
Being straight, or gay, does not guarantee a lasting, meaningful relationship for life. It takes the effort of both people involved to make it work. To have regular open discussions about the needs and desires of each other, and to come to an understanding of how best to accommodate each other. There is always give and take on both sides in order to make each other and ourselves happy human beings.
I would just like the option of listing my partner on my benefits, regardless of their sex. To have my partner by my side in a time of crisis as my partner, and not be treated as an outsider or just as a friend. We have an agreement between us to watch out for each other, and to protect each other’s best interest. If my life were on the line, I want my partner to be able to make any final decision for me, based on my wishes I have shared with them. But currently, not all states recognize that, and unfortunately the decision is going to be left to a complete stranger who has no idea what my final wishes are. That’s sad. Whether we are allowed to “unite” legally, or just between ourselves, we have a strong commitment to each other that will last far longer than a piece of paper. Isn’t that true for any good relationship?
Like many others in our society, we like to go out in public. Shopping, dinner, drinks, sight-seeing, etc. Unlike straight couples, we are prevented from drawing attention to ourselves by having to restrain from any physical contact. Like holding hands, placing our hand on the other person’s shoulder, dancing together, simple gestures like that that are innocent in nature, but may be offensive to someone else. This is difficult at times, because if we were a straight couple, we wouldn’t give it a second thought. People of the same sex do this openly in public as friends and no one gives it a second thought. But because we are gay, people perceive it differently.
Being in a gay relationship can, and does, have all the rewards of a heterosexual relationship. It can be nurturing, fulfilling, satisfying, comforting, and loving in so many ways. It in no way is a relationship that is purely sexual. No real relationship between two people, whether gay or straight, is based on or can last a lifetime if it is only based on sex. It’s much deeper than that. I think that when straight people think of gay, the first thing that comes to mind is the sexual act itself. Funny that we don’t think of that first when it comes to a heterosexual relationship. In that relationship, we first think of the love between the two people.
Sex is highly over rated in our society. It is just one small aspect of any relationship, but is not the whole relationship. It’s not what holds a relationship together, but can enhance it with both parties consent. It’s great while it lasts, but one has to remember that we were not built to maintain the same sexual performance at the age of 60 that we had when we were 20. If relationships were purely based on sex, we would have a lot of divorces and splitting of couples after the age of 50. As our relationship grows, so does the other aspects of that relationship. It’s that, that will keep the relationship alive for many years to come, or even a lifetime.
Once you can separate the word “sex” as in meaning the sexual act, from “sexual preference” then you can better understand what a true, meaningful relationship can be. It’s like separating the word “love” from “sex” as one does not necessarily have one with the other. They mean two very different things. To mistake sex for love, is cheating yourself of all that love truly has to offer you in life. Whether you find that love in a gay or straight relationship, make it the best you can make it, allowing it to grow to it’s full potential and enjoy every minute of it!