Who hasn’t ever dreamed of winning the lottery? Everyone wants money so they can purchase things or travel to destinations that they have desired their entire life. Some people dream of becoming rich so they can help their less fortunate family members and friends who have never had anything.
I’m a frugal person, so I wouldn’t have too many things to do if I won the lottery. Here are some of the thoughtful and wise things I would do if I ever won the lottery.
If I won the lottery, I’d give Travie McCoy one-million dollars
Then I wouldn’t have to hear him complain on my radio every hour about how he wants to be a billionaire. If the lottery were big enough and I received a one lump sum, maybe I’d give him even more.
If I won the lottery, I’d create the first YouTube video with no copyright infringement!
I would make a ten-minute YouTube flick of me burning two-million dollars. This would be recognized as the second most efficient way of spending money in the United States next to Barack Obama’s MasterCard habits.
If I won the lottery, I would live in my car
My car would still be more expensive and bigger than the house that anyone reading this lives in.
If I won the lottery, I’d buy a penguin
I’d purchase a penguin because penguins are awesome. I would teach it God’s Word so I could ask it “What’s God’s Word, bird?”
If I won the lottery, I would drop $100 bills everywhere I go
Whether I were at a retailer, restaurant, or at the park, I’d be dropping money everywhere I’d go. Eventually, it would become an America’s Most Wanted mystery before I would stop and no one would ever figure out it was me. If I were on an airplane, I’d drop bills from the sky.
If I won the lottery, I’d mail $500 to random houses everyday
With no return addresses, I would mail unsuspecting folks big sums of cash. I’d just pick random addresses from the phone book and mail them out.
If I won the lottery, I would never buy toilet paper again
I’d have the most luxurious toilet paper rack in the city.
If I won the lottery, I’d buy Yahoo!
After finalizing the purchase for Yahoo, I would fire every single Associated Content content producer except myself. This would eliminate the possibility that articles get over-saturated on Associated Content. I would become a featured contributor in every category and pay myself $100 for every article I write. I’ll eventually make up all the money I spent to purchase Yahoo and have a healthy profit from my business wits. .
If I won the lottery, I’d die the next day
Everything else I claimed before this would be moot because if I were ever lucky enough to win the lottery, I would die the next day.