‘Fist Pumping 4 Love’ is set to become the latest New Jersey reality show. Producer Spencer Pratt’s new brainchild (see, Heidi, he can procreate and produce deformed children) will star unknown guido Emilio Masella, one of Snooki’s flings that she left when she realized he was a ‘Jersey Shore’ famewhore looking for his fifteen minutes. ‘Fist Pumping 4 Love’ will follow Emilio Masella as he mimics the guys of ‘Jersey Shore’ by getting his GTL on and searching for his perfect guidette princess.
Will ‘Fist Pumping 4 Love’ be as successful as ‘Jersey Shore’?
The gates of hell are slowly beginning to open. Forget earthquakes, oil spills, and bomb scares; when pasty Spencer Pratt and his flesh-colored beard team up with an atomic orange guido for what sounds like the most mind-numbing reality show ever, you know the apocalypse is upon us. I don’t know if ‘Fist Pumping 4 Love’ will be as successful as ‘Jersey Shore’, since the dating show format has definitely been overdone and Emilio Masella is no Bret Michaels or Flavor Flav (or even New York, for that matter), but if people will watch a reality show about some creeper dating wacko women in his basement and ‘The Real World: New Jersey’ (starring a cast mostly from New York), it looks like Spencer Pratt’s ‘Fist Pumping 4 Love’ will provide him with the money for Heidi’s next back-breaking boob job (she still doesn’t think they’re big enough) and give him more production power. Watch out, Fox.
At least ‘Fist Pumping for Love’ makes some of Spencer Pratt’s Twitter attacks make a little more sense
Poor Spencer Pratt must have been devastated to see a bunch of guys opposite from him in every way (except for the amount of brain cells in their thick skulls) become more successful on TV than himself: he’s pasty while the guidos of ‘Jersey Shore’ are Heidi orange; he’s doughboy-ish while the ‘Jersey Shore’ guys have rock-hard bods; and they’re able to coin catch phrases and get cool nicknames while he is not. So to try and get the world ready for ‘Fist Pumping 4 Love’, Spencer Pratt went on a Twitter attack to try and take down his competition, telling Snooki that he was a shark in the water coming for her and attacking J Woww’s breast enhancement surgery (ridiculous, right?). Speaking of breast implants…
Heidi Montag might get some more small screen time thanks to bigger breast implants
While Spencer Pratt has to vicariously live through Emilio Marsella for his next reality show venture (although it would be funnier to see Spencer go neon orange, die his hair black, and play a guido himself), his maniacal mannequin of a wife is reportedly shopping around her own idea for a show, as she plans to get bigger breast implants and have the ordeal taped. Apparently munchkin Ryan Seacrest (who knows a lot about being big) told Heidi Montag that her breasts didn’t look that big to him, and that was enough to make her decide to go ahead and go forward with getting bigger breast implants, shopping around in Europe for a surgeon instead of going with a board-certified one in the U.S.
So everyone get your crystals ready and start meditating away, because your brain just might melt like Heidi in the sun if the world continues to acknowledge that these two exist, helping to bring about the end of days by showing the world that stupidity is, indeed, rewarded.