You know, I always thought the first date was the hardest. All the emotions, expectations and everything running through my head at once! I’ve figured a few things out since the times I went on so many first dates (and that was all) and then till the time I had my last first date ever. I’ll tell you why first dates are the hardest date to go on, and one simple rule to keep in mind to make them easier on all parties involved.
1. You are nervous!
First dates make us nervous. Even if you’ve known the person for a while, going on a “First” date can be nerve racking. Where will you go? What will you do? Who will you see? What will you say? There are so many unknowns to deal with before the date itself and even during it. Try to relax and enjoy it though. You only get a first date with this person once!
2. It’s awkward!
Whether you have known the person for two minutes, 2 weeks or 10 years, it’s going to be at least a little awkward. Maybe you two have been friends since childhood, and now are trying the whole “dating” thing. It’s going to feel awkward changing from just friends to more than that, in the first date. Now, maybe you just met this person at school or work. It’s also going to be awkward because you don’t know them very well at all. Or maybe you met them on a site like eHarmony, so you’ve talked for weeks getting to know each other online, or on the phone. But haven’t met in person yet. Try to get past the awkward silences and enjoy yourself. Again, you can only have a first date once!
3. There are expectations!
Let’s face it; you each have expectations going into this date. Maybe you are thinking he’s the last guy you’ll ever date, and he’s thinking he can’t wait to get to know you better. Any way you slice it there are expectations that each of you will have of what is going to happen during, and potentially after that first date. Again, try to relax and enjoy. You don’t have to get to know everything about this person this date. (And you don’t have to share every detail of your life either on this date.) You only will get to have this first date once with them, so have fun but don’t scare them off.
4. You are excited!
This is natural. You both should be excited for this date. It could just be your very last first date ever, after all! But, try not to stress or pressure anything….all in due time. (As my hubby always said while we were dating…) You only have a first date with this person once, so make the most of it.
5. They are bittersweet. You can’t wait to start it and you can’t wait to end it.
Since all these emotions are running through your head before, during and after this date, of course you can’t wait to start it and to end it. Because then you’ll have some of these questions answered. So try to relax, and have a good time.
6. Face it, they are important, because they either make it or break it!
Whether you want to face this reality or not, it’s true. First dates, like first impressions, will usually make or break a relationship. If you can’t make it past the first hour with someone, how do you think you are going to make it through the first year of marriage? Just think about it….and try to be yourself and see if this person and you can really connect or not! There’s no sense in wasting either of your time, if one of you is not interested in going on future dates, etc. Be honest, if you don’t really like the other person, or if they aren’t right for you. You don’t have to go on a second date with them. Just tell them! Again, try to relax, enjoy yourself and let yourself have fun on this potential last first date.
I hope you’ve found this helpful. Bottom line, first dates are exciting, nerve racking, fun and necessary. So, sit back, try to relax and enjoy the time you get to spend on it. Here’s some more tips for first dates specifically for “Acting Natural on a First Date.”