While first date jitters are perfectly normal, it is a good idea to redirect your energy and calm your nerves, prior to meeting your date. Before any first date, avoid thinking of the countless possible “what if” scenarios (i.e. what if conversation does not flow), and simply go to the meeting with no expectations. Approach the situation with the mindset that if nothing else, you will depart from the first date with a cool new acquaintance — perhaps even a lifelong friend.
Nowadays, with the existence of popular online dating sites like eHarmony and Match, over time many of us go on quite a few first dates. Unfortunately, the nervous energy attached to the typical first date does not always fade for everyone. If you know of a few tips and ways to calm your nerves before any first date, in the long run you will achieve greater success in the realm of dating.
Formulate a plan. Just say no to procrastination in your life. Prior to any first date, advance preparation is key to calming your nerves. As soon as you know the location of your date, if it is an unfamiliar bar or restaurant, call to inquire about things like dress code and parking. If you do not want to call beforehand, look on a site like Yelp for useful information. Select an outfit to wear on your date based upon comfort and visual appeal. Always avoid clothing that is too flashy or provocative. Make sure you know the specific location where you are meeting your date. If it is an unfamiliar venue and you do not have navigation in your car — always obtain directions on a site like Mapquest.
Keep it short and sweet. Chemistry is one of those things that is often a total hit — or a total miss. You really never know if it will exist on a first date — until you meet. Just in case your date has some annoying habit that is a total dealbreaker for you — it is a good idea to keep things simple — only commit to meeting for coffee, a cocktail or lunch. You never want to end up on a date where you are trying to think of 101 excuses to leave. Plan to keep the date relatively short in the beginning where you are only committing 30 to 60 minutes of your life. In the end, it is no big deal if the chemistry is not there.
Indulge yourself. You planned ahead — now you have some time to kill before your first date. Calm your nerves by indulging yourself. Pour a glass of wine. Light a few candles – turn on some soothing music — and treat yourself to a bubble bath or hot steam shower. If you have a lot of time before your date — visit a nearby spa for a calming 30-60 minute Swedish massage or a hot stone pedicure. Forget about any anxiety or nervousness you are experiencing. By shifting the focus of your energy back to yourself, any first date nervousness will quickly dissipate.
Have questions in mind. If you met online, avoid memorizing the minute details of a person’s profile before the actual first date. When a person regurgitates every detail of your online profile during the first encounter — it seems a bit artificial and boring. Use a resource like Google and search for “first date questions” to ask your date. Having set questions in mind will calm any nervous energy you may normally experience. Begin by chatting about easy topics to break the ice. If you are at a bar, inquire about your date’s favorite drink. From there transition into questions pertaining to what they do socially, and how often they go out to bars and clubs. If you are looking for a homebody, as opposed to a person who is constantly “out on the town,” you can easily find out the type of person your date is early on, based upon your date’s answers. Ask additional questions to break the ice and allow conversation to flow. Avoid all cliché topics like what’s your sign. Find out when your date’s last relationship ended, but stay away from asking for specifics on why the relationship ended. From there — ask a few thought provoking questions to find out if the two of you are compatible on other levels. To avoid appearing like an interrogator — allow your date to ask you plenty of questions too.
Remember it is a first date — keep things fun, engaging and fresh at all times!
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