Finding happiness in a relationship may seem pointless when that relationship is unhealthy. On the other hand there is a way to make changes within yourself, that may help. I was always taught that happiness comes from within. Sadly, it took me many years to realize just how true that is. Finding happiness in your relationship is easy if you are happy within yourself to begin with. What if you’re not happy with yourself? How do you work on self fulfillment while trying to fix a broken relationship? Isn’t that selfish?
On Selfishness
Think of your relationship as a recipe. When you mix healthy ingredients together, the result is a healthy and tasty dish. When one or both of the ingredients is spoiled, your culinary creation is spoiled as well. Likewise, a healthy relationship is created when both people are mentally healthy. By nurturing yourself, you are improving your relationship recipe. Therefore, self improvement is not a selfish act, but one that strengthens your relationship as a whole.
The Other Guy
Happiness in your relationship is a two way street. While you are working on your own self help, don’t forget about your partner. If they lack self esteem, take the time to reassure them of their self worth. Let them know that you appreciate the things they do for you. Take the time to make them feel good about themselves. It’s vital to know you are valued in a relationship. Even if you have been together a long time, it helps to verify your importance to each other occasionally.
Nurture Yourself
Sometimes we get caught up in everyday life and forget about ourselves for a while. The bills must be paid. The chores must be done. We must make sure all is right with family and friends. When this happens, our own happiness and sense of self worth sometimes fall by the wayside. What have you done for yourself lately? When you feel neglected due to the stress of everyday living, it’s hard to find happiness in your relationship. Take the time to nurture yourself and your relationship will profit from your inner happiness.
Placing Blame
Sometimes in relationships, there are regrets concerning dreams one partner or the other has left by the wayside. Whether it be going back to school, traveling or simply finding time in the day to read a good book, there’s nothing wrong with fulfilling your own dreams. Remind yourself that your lack of fulfillment is not the responsibility or the fault of your partner. You chose the path you are on. If you don’t like it, change it, but don’t blame your partner. Don’t blame yourself either. Fulfill your dreams and you will find happiness in your relationship.
Tell Them What’s Bugging You
Some relationships suffer due to resentment and anger. How can you diffuse things and find happiness in a relationship gone bad?First of all, never address issues when you are angry. The natural human response to anger is more anger. Instead, wait for a time when you and your partner are both in positive moods to discuss what’s bugging you. Don’t hold it in and state your issues in a matter of fact way, without placing blame. As the old saying goes, “You will catch more flies with honey, than you will with vinegar”. Be honest and positive in your relations with others.
Focus on the Positive
Sure, we have all heard this before. That’s because it’s true. Just as negativity breeds more negativity, positivity breeds happiness in relationships. I’m not saying roll over and let the other person have their way with you. Never let another person abuse you, mentally or physically. I’m simply saying that if you maintain a healthy, positive outlook there is a greater chance of finding happiness in your relationship. Positive thinking is just as contagious as negative thinking. Let your happiness shine into the lives of your partner and loved ones. You may be surprised at the results.
The Others
When I speak of happiness in your relationship, I’m not just referring to romantic relationships. Giving yourself help by nurturing the happiness within is good for all your relationships. Whether we are talking about your children, friends or even that guy you wish your husband didn’t hang out with, your inner happiness can make a huge difference in all your relationships. So put a smile on your face and approach life with a happy, positive outlook that radiates from within.
Refuse to Participate in Negativity
What if your partner or loved one remains negative, despite your positive attitude? Well, unfortunately, not everyone has inner happiness and strength to draw on. Be patient, maybe they will come around. In the meantime, don’t let their negativity influence your own happiness and sense of self worth. Don’t alienate them, just insist on remaining positive yourself. Think of it as their issue, not yours. Continue to treat them with love and kindness, despite their negative approach to life. Soon you will find happiness in your relationship and everywhere else.
Please Note: This relationship advice is not meant to suggest that you should suffer abuse from anyone and simply radiate happiness to overcome it. If you find yourself becoming a victim of physical or mental abuse, the best approach is often to end the relationship. Always insist on mutual respect in any relationship.
Source:
Personal Experience
