Okay, I admit my title is dripping in a bit of sarcasm. Honestly, I like good juicy celebrity gossip just like everybody else, but to tell you the truth, I’m reading headlines and stories lately on the entertainment pages that seem to be truly scraping the bottom of the barrel for relevant interesting stuff. Let’s peruse some of them…
Angelina Jolie Buys Son Pax A Manicure Kit
Are they trying to say that’s a good thing or a bad thing? Inquiring minds want to know. I hate to admit it, but I actually read the article. It seems the Jolie-Pitt or the Pitt-Jolie group (whichever way you look at it), were in a fancy toy store with their gang and they let their kids pick out some items. And here’s where the story tries to get interesting. Apparently, both Pax AND Zahara picked out a manicure kit and Angelina allowed both of them to get it. So why mention just Pax in the headline? I guess they’re just trying to stir up a little controversy.
Jennifer Aniston’s Stunning Transformation Into Barbra Streisand
As much as the headline wants to make it sound mysterious by using the phrase “stunning transformation”, all that was reported in the article was that Jennifer met Barbra once and Barbra was nice, Barbra directs now and then and Jennifer directed once and wants to do it again, and they both like interior designing. That’s pretty much it, folks. I’d hardly call that a “transformation”, let alone a “stunning” one, would you?
Jake Pavelka: “No, I’m Not Gay”
Oh God, hasn’t this guy crawled back into the woodwork by now? Can you tell that Jake Pavelka is not one of my favorite people? I just didn’t like the way he treated Vienna in front of the cameras during their argument by being obnoxious and disrespectful to her. I can only imagine how horrible it must have been to deal with him behind the scenes. I wish the best for Vienna, and I wish Jake would go back to flying airplanes and stay out of our entertainment news. P.S. to Jake: We really don’t care about your sexual orientation either.
Mary-Kate Olsen: I Would Never Wish My Upbringing On Anyone
I hate to break this news to Mary-Kate, but uh… the rest of the country is dealing with an economic crisis, high unemployment, our jobs being outsourced from under us, and the list goes on. Is it just me, or does Mary-Kate seem just a tad out of touch with the real world? Oh it’s probably just me. I’m sure she has to budget her money and deny herself things everyday just like the rest of us. … Now THAT is a sentence dripping with heavy sarcasm.
At Home With Criss Angel
Criss Angel? Oh yeah, he’s that guy who dated Holly Madison for a while, isn’t he? Apparently he feels we’re going to be fascinated that his new season (he actually has his own show) will be filmed mostly in his Las Vegas home, where he will be able to devote more time to his fan, I mean fans. Two things he’s looking forward to doing is walking up the side of a hotel, and the disappearance and then re-appearance of a scorpion. And get this. His show is actually expanded to hour-long episodes this season instead of the half-hour ones last season. I must be missing something. Maybe I’ll check it out in between reading all the other fascinating celebrity headlines.
Nicolas Cage Dropped Out Of Nicole Kidman Film, Then Returned Days Later
The article never said why. Maybe he was busy meeting with his lawyer about his recent financial troubles. Maybe he got the flu and was home sick in bed. Maybe he and the missus got into a fight and he wanted to be incognito for a while. Maybe aliens abducted him and did experiments on him for a few days before he woke up and went back to the film set. I guess we’ll never know. It will remain a mystery forever.
Amy Takes A Nap
We’re talking about that lovely girl singer with the famous beehive on top of her head. No, you’re thinking of Snooki. Snooki is not named Amy and she doesn’t sing. I’m talking about Amy Winehouse. It was actually reported in an English newspaper that Amy was found sleeping on a park bench at 9:30 AM in the morning. And that was the end of the reporting. England must be having a lull in their entertainment news these days as well, wouldn’t you say?
Lindsay Lohan Shows Off Boobs In New Ad
Oh what a surprise. Of course, this was pre-jail and pre-rehab when the pictures were taken, but apparently they are going to be shown soon. Oh goody. The article goes on to say they are for Marc Ecko’s “Muse” campaign. I don’t know who Marc Ecko is, and I don’t know what his “Muse” campaign is either. And I most certainly don’t care about Lindsay Lohan’s boobs. Can this girl possibly do anything else to lower herself? Hopefully she’ll find a little piece of self-respect in rehab.
And for the most fascinating and mind-blowing celebrity news out this week, I’ve saved the best for last….
Tom Sherak Re-elected President of Film Academy
This is his second term as President of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. The term is for one year. He’s also a veteran film executive. He works as a consultant in the movie business. He’s also an academy governor. …. yawn …. stretch …. yawn again ….. Is this the guy that they introduce in the middle of the Academy Award show when we’re really just trying to see who everybody is sitting with in the audience and to see what they’re wearing? Maybe he is. I don’t know. But if he is, you heard it here first!
Source: Yahoo’s OMG