As a fan of the Twilight books, written by Stephanie Meyer, I feel obligated to hand over my hard-earned money and make a trip watch each of the Twilight movies at the movie theater. Granted, none of the movies thus far have been ‘epic’, but they have been watchable. Today I finally went to the movies to see the 3rd installment of the Twilight series, Eclipse. There are NO SPOILERS in this Eclipse movie review, but I will give you an honest take on why this movie sucks. In fact, I’ll give you 5 reasons why the Eclipse movie sucked. No pun intended.
Before I continue, let me apologize to all you die-hard Twilight fans out there. I’m sure my honest Eclipse movie review will upset you. As a Twilight fan, I guess we’re supposed to say we thought the movie was awesome, even if it’s not really true. But, I just can’t. O n with the Eclipse movie review.
5 reasons the Eclipse movie sucked
1- Enough with the smoochie-woochie.
Can Bella and Edward come up for air already? This couple has their lips locked for over half the movie! And each time they kiss, it’s with such power and intensity it’s just completely unreal. And then, as if watching those two kiss is not enough, Jacob gets to lock lips with Bella a few times too. (OOH NO! I just gave something away!) Which leads me to the next reason the Eclipse movie sucked.
2- Bella needs to make up her damn mind.
I’ve had it with Bella! There. I’ve said it. She’s got Edward eating out of the palm of her hand, but is that enough for her? NO! She wants to torture Jacob too. For God’s sake, talk about a tease! And it’s not enough that she’s torturing Jacob. She loves waving Jacob in front of Edward, using him as her little plaything. And Edward should know better than to fall for that crap. I mean, he’s over a hundred years old! In real life, two guys would want to kick each others ass in an attempt to win Bella over. But in the Eclipse movie, they work together to protect Bella. Puh-lease.
3- You’re vampires. Fight already!
The Eclipse movie was slightly over two hours long. In all that time there may have been a total of 20 minutes of fighting. That’s a long time to sit and wait for a little action. The movie was very dull, very drug out and extremely passive. Shouldn’t a movie about vampires include some pretty exciting fight scenes?
4- What teenager really acts like this?
Bella and Jacob are both still teenagers in the Eclipse movie, yet neither of them behave like your average teen. Every conversation they have is intense and life altering, and yet nothing ever really gets resolved. It seems that ALL their conversations are exactly the same and the dialogue is getting old. It’s like seeing two 30 year olds trapped in young, hot bodies. (The hot bodies are the best part of the movie, by the way)
5- Please stop with the dramatic sighs, Bella.
Bella is a total drama queen. She gasps over each kiss. She gasps when Edward touches her. She gasps when she sees blood. She gasps when Jacob walks in the room. The girl would gasp if you told her that her shoe was untied!! ENOUGH WITH THE DRAMA.
What’s up with Victoria? And was it just me, or did the evil vampire Victoria look completely different? Gone was the rough, tough exterior, and in its place was a pathetic portrayal of a vicious vampire. Seems the first Victoria, played by Rachelle Lefevre, was replaced by a new actress by the name of Bryce Dallas Howard. This new Victoria was just too soft around the edges and wasn’t believable as a hardcore killer.
As much as I disliked the Eclipse movie, I’m sure when the final Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn, arrives in theaters, I’ll once again fork over my money to see it in theaters. Which makes me wonder. How many other Twilight ‘fans’ are doing the same thing? Why are we paying to see a movie that we know isn’t going to be any good? Thoughts?
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Personal knowledge and experience