One of my best friends is a member of the Eckankar religion. It’s actually a really nifty little religion that focuses on karma and reincarnation. I was almost considering converting to it, especially after I went to an Eckankar seminar in Chanhassen, Minnesota. The seminar was really great, I learned about reincarnation as well as how karma follows you after death. It was a really interesting time and I thought for sure that this was the religion for me. It was simple, there were great books to read. It was mental and I could still believe in my God because they accepted all religions and where you were at in your faith.
I knew I had to give myself a chance to think it over before I jumped right in and converted and I’m glad I did. There was just something that felt kind of cultish about it and I wasn’t really sure. The people were nice and everything but it kind of freaked me out a little. I was willing to give it a shot though, I mean, it seems to have done good things for a lot of people, especially for my friend who brought me to the seminar. A couple weeks after the seminar I realized what had been bothering me. There was no god. I had just been deluding myself. And that is how my faith that I thought was unbreakable was broken. I am an atheist now, or at the very least a really skeptical agnostic. I had been toying with the idea that there was nothing after death but now I was sure of it. There was no god and nothing happened to you after you died, you were just simply dead.
I sat around thinking to myself how I could have possibly gotten myself to this point. I wanted to believe in god. I wanted to believe there was something more but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. What was even the point now? You lived and you died and that was it. I’ve always been interested in religion and now that interest was simply gone. I was never Christian or anything but the fact that none of it was real made me a little sad. It also made me realize how arrogant the Christians seemed for believing that their God was the only way to heaven when Eckankar said that whatever you were believing at the time was right for you.
Athiesm was right for me now. I had nothing. I began to realize all the pain in the world and how there was no way a god could exist. He would never let pain flourish like this. He would do something, he would have to. Wasn’t he obligated to at least help a little bit? I wasn’t sure. I just knew I couldn’t deal with it anymore. No more religion, not for me at least. Athiesm was the way to go. Science, science made sense. I was ok with science.
So that’s how I became an Athiest and lost my faith in God. I’m not really sure where I’m at now regarding it all. I’m kind of trying to put the pieces of my faith back together, but it’s nice not having to worry about anything like that.