Previously published in Examiner
Part 8 of the Dealing with grief and loss and helping others series
Dealing with Grief continued
The talking cure
Grieving is a process, it takes time, and family and friends must first realize that. The griever may go through a period when they need to talk about their loss – respect that.
Even if you are tired of hearing it, let the person talk about it. By talking about it, the person is actually working through the grief. Talking is a cathartic experience. Sigmund Freud first introduced the idea of catharsis, “getting it off you chest” so to speak. He found that his “talking cure” was very healing and counsellors still use this important healing tool today. Be patient with the griever if they need to talk about it – let them.
When the griever does not want to talk
Some grievers will say they don’t want to talk about it and that is fine for awhile, but counsellors and psychologists have found that the sooner the client begins to talk and work their through their grief the sooner the healing process can begin. As a caregiver or supporter remember you cannot force anyone to talk when they don’t want to. It is best you stay cognizant of this symptom of grieving and alert a professional to guide you through the process if you are worried about the griever.
Remember the fine line balance. A certain time to be alone can also be healing for the griever but when the griever totally isolates him or herself from the world for months on end it is time to follow up with a professional.
This is an ongoing series please remember that not one single post can cover the entire topic. We will continue with how to deal with grievers in the next article. We will look how the caregiver or supporter can give support without saying a word.
Certified Grief Counsellor and Educator in Montreal
Dawn Cruchet, BN, M.ED, CT
Canada Telephone Counselling Confidential
Montreal tel: 514-223-1015
Montreal Therapy Center
The Montreal Counselling Clinic
Auberge Shalom Counselling and Resource Centre