Previously published in examiner
Please note that this will be one of the longest series I have written so far so have patience with me. Each article has only a small capsule of information; but, by the end you should get a good picture of the grieving process, how grievers feel, how to be supportive, what to say and what not to say to a griever, and how some grievers have turned their pain and suffering into humanitarian endeavors.
Now for part I
There is no doubt that losing someone to death is one of the most painful and stressful events that we will ever experience in our lifetime. Although we know that death is a natural process in life, one never really seems prepared for it. In the case of loved ones who is suffering we may long for death, so they are spared the pain, but we not always be prepared for the emotional impact that follows. We are happy the sick and tortured are no longer suffering but we still mourn the loss.
Grieving is normal
However, there are situations when we are not prepared or expect the death of a loved one at all. Some of these situations would include death caused by an accident, murder, or death of a child. After all, the way of nature is that children survive their parents and if they don’t, something is terribly, terribly wrong.
All feelings are absolutely normal. Yes we do still mourn even if we know our loved ones are no longer suffering, and yes will continue to question the senseless untimely deaths by murder, accidents, or sickness in young children.
In 1969, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross rocked the world with her groundbreaking research and formidable work displayed in her book, On Death and Dying. She gave the world an understanding of the grieving process and she gave permission to the bereaved to feel their emotions, and embrace them. She gave them the permission to grieve. It is only through the grieving process that the bereaved eventually heal and move on to enjoy their lives as they were meant to be carried out.
To be continued
Certified Grief Counsellor and Educator in Montreal
Dawn Cruchet, BN, M.ED, CT
Canada Telephone Counselling Confidential http://lucymacdonald.typepad.com/counselling/grief/
Montreal tel: 514-223-1015
Montreal Therapy Center
The Montreal Counselling Clinic
Auberge Shalom Counselling and Resource Centre