Dating can be fun and it also can be scary. Who has it harder when it comes to the dating scene, men or women? Not a question that can be answered; however, for women, dating often requires a lot of patience, waiting and appearing to be available and friendly while also having a bit of mystery and intrigue.
Dating Relationships and Women: Never Married or Re-Entering the Dating Arena
Sometimes dating does feel like an arena … a boxing arena, sports arena or even a bullfighting arena! Dating relationships are challenging.
Women who have never married may have developed a style that works for them and a tougher skin that will help them survive the ending of a dating relationship. At times, skills can be well-developed but, more often than not, if there has not been a successful match after several years, a woman may need to rethink her approach to dating.
For those entering the dating scene after a divorce or the death of a spouse, self-confidence and knowledge of the art of dating are not high and women need a refresher course to learn to date again.
Women cannot be passive about dating and dating relationships. The right person will most likely NOT show up on her doorstep. The man who asks her out may NOT be a good choice. Dating is bound to be much more successful if women make a game plan about how to meet men who might be a good match and make choices from those who are compatible.
Here are some tips for dating relationships and women.
Dating Relationships and Women: 7 Tips for Successful Dating
1. Develop criteria for what is important in a dating partner.
Be realistic. Rank order the criteria in importance. Recognize that no one will fit all of your desires; however, there are some criteria that are crucial in a dating relationship.
Here are a few to get you started. Women need to have a man who is mature, handles money well and is respectful of her at all times
One quote from Joanne Woodward that I think fits so well here is “Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades. But to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.”
2. Set clear boundaries for dating relationships.
Do not try to go too fast … or be too coy and play hard-to-get.
A woman should get to know someone well before jumping into bed with him.
Pay attention to a man’s behavior as well as his words. Behavior aids learning about a man’s character, not just his looks and charm.
3. Don’t share or ask too much personal information too quickly.
A woman should go slowly in revealing personal details about her life. Early on in a dating relationship, a woman has no idea where it is headed and she would not want someone that she has seen only a few times to know too many of her secrets.
Being private does not mean being dishonest. Tell the truth and remember it is just fine to say “I would rather not share that right now.” or “That is the kind of information we might talk about down the road.”
A woman should always keep her good judgment and dignity about herself as she get to know a man.
4. Don’t talk too much about yourself.
Men (and women) are flattered when they believe that someone is interested in them. Successful daters share a little bit about their own interests, job, family and then ask the man to talk about himself.
5. Be positive and upbeat in dating relationships.
Keep things simple and fun. Focus on friendship. Notice what happens as you get to know each other.
Successful women daters let their date know if they enjoyed his company. Be specific with compliments such as “bowling is not one of my strengths, but you made it fun and I really appreciate your tips. Now I have to take my children bowling and show them what I can do!”
6. Be patient with dating relationships.
Recognize that men sometimes go a lot slower than women with dating relationships although not necessarily with sex.
Never jump from one relationship to the next. Take some time off and do a little processing and learning from the relationship that ended before starting off on a new one.
A woman should refrain from initiating much of a discussion about the relationship until she is ready to begin a sexual relationship. Don’t assume her date is exclusive with you if it has never been discussed.
So discuss what having a sexual relationship means to him and tell him about what it means to you. Know what you are getting in to before you take that step.
Otherwise, just focus on the friendship and wait months for any discussion about commitment. Take it slowly and easily.
7. Be happy within and with yourself.
Recognize that you do not “need” a relationship to be fulfilled (even though it is darned nice!). Do what it takes to feel happy within yourself and with yourself.
Follow these tips. Take dating a little less seriously and approach it with the idea that it can be fun meeting new people and having new experiences and enjoy the dating arena.