The wedding was a success with all of your friends and family gathered around you to share in your special day. The two of you couldn’t have imagined a more perfect day, and your honeymoon was beautiful. Then you slowly began to adjust to living life as a married couple but there was one thing that you didn’t figure into the picture. You have in-laws now and you have no idea how to deal with them. Whether you have the nice in-laws that just call to check up on you and occassionally come by for dinner or the one’s that you consider to be nosey no two sets of in-laws are the same. You have no idea how you’re supposed to cope with the in-laws that you have just inherited.
Coping with your in-laws is sometimes difficult and finding effective ways to cope with them can cause stress. The way you cope with them depends on the relationship that you have with them. There are times when the relationship will be strained. There are times when it will seem like you are one big loving family without a care in the world. No matter the situation doing everything you can to have a good relationship with them will mean the world to your spouse. You will actually be surprised at how much even the best marriage can improve when you discover how to cope with in-laws effectively.
Not every relationship is perfect but keeping a calm head on your shoulders can really help prevent blow ups. The most difficult people often have good intentions. Remember that in-laws are someone’s parents. They are your spouse’s parents and without them your darling would not be here. They love them and want what is best for them. This has to be kept in mind, especially if you believe they have overstepped their bounds in one way or another. You have to remember that there are going to be times when the boundaries are ignored whether it’s intentionally or unintentionally.
Keep in mind that they have the best of intentions and it will help to prevent you from reacting. When you react you cause yourself problems. An angry reaction to something that was meant to be helpful can cause a tension not only with your in-laws but with your spouse as well. Often in-laws are just attempting to be helpful and make life less stressful for you.
Set specific guidelines for trips and family functions. Know what subjects are off limits for discussion. This will help avoid arguments over difference in opinion. There are some subjects that set alarms off for people; learn what these are. Try to plan it out so that you know what you’ll be doing when. Having a plan will assist you in making sure everyone is one the same page.
When it comes to the grandchildren there are sure to be conflicts and differences of opinion. Make sure your wishes are known and stand your ground. If you give in sometimes it leads people to think that you will always give in.
Set limits. There may be something your child can not eat. Make a list of allergies for them to avoid any surprises. When your child is used to a specific routine you may want to let the grandparents know what they are used to. It will help them to keep your child happy and you will feel better too.
Most of all remember that if it were not for them the person that you love would not exist. There is no reason to let everything get to you. Exercise some self control and try out some calming techniques.Avoidance won’t work for long. If you try and avoid them at some point your spouse is going to notice. The fact that you are avoiding their parents may upset them and cause a rift in your marriage.