Cheating rarely starts out of the blue. Cheaters have usually thought about cheating long before they actually decide to carry it out. The cheater usually has picked the person that they want to be with. Now it’s just a matter of when and how so let the excuses begin.
Now for the person at home life gets tough, suddenly nothing they do is right. The house is not clean enough the children do not behave well enough. Any excuse they can find to nit pick at you will be used because if they make you mad at them as it gives them more reason to go to the other person for “sympathy”. If they can make you become the horrible ball and chain its so much easier for them to go else where for support. Or it can be they know you are stuck with them making it easier to do what ever they want knowing if you leave it will be hurting you not them.
If the cheater has computer you will suddenly notice them closing windows so you can’t see what they are doing. They may even make it so you’re not allowed to be over their shoulder while they are on the computer. Eventually the computer becomes their best friend when ever they are awake no matter if you and the children are home. They may even have to watch you on the computer to check to see if you are doing the same thing they are.
Next comes the coming home from work late. This may be with or with out a call. If you get upset over the over time or not getting a call make sure you are ready for world war three as they hate being called out on these issues because not only are they guilty, they now have to lie more to cover their tail. If they are really good at cheating they may even schedule their “overtime” in advance. Cheaters may even use the excuses of training classes or conventions to their advantage. Now if they don’t use work as their excuse it may be errands like shopping or maybe the gym. What ever the errand is there is always an excuse why you and the kids can’t go.
Now when a cheater is finally caught the back peddling starts. No matter how you learn that you are being cheated on even if it comes from a unlikely source keep your eye open for the truth because lies don’t last forever. They will blame their actions on anybody or anything, it’s never them that are at fault. They may even think they can do what ever with whom ever no matter what the other person thinks. However no matter how they spin it you have some very huge choices to make.
Your choices that you make will based on many factors including how you found out they where cheating. If someone has informed you of seeing them out with someone else or maybe you caught them cheating that would be treated different then someone confessing a single indiscretion. However you decide to handle it make sure it is a way you can live with. You can’t use this as way to excuse your bad behavior later on.