While I am no expert on the modern sport of “dating,” I am a classically trained hound. Moreover, I understand the plight of many of my brethren who are stuck in this realm; even for my female contemporaries; I can feel their pain. Put lightly, dating sucks. It’s unreliable, it’s fickle as heck, and for all that work you do on the front side for what you put in, you’re never sure what is going to come out. Keeping the classical case study in mind, I compiled this list of the six reasons that dating is so, and has always been, hard.
Dating is Hard: Boys & Girls Are Different: I know that’s a little obvious statement to make but it’s the truth. Guys need to read that book “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.” Also, try and pay attention in their intro to psych elective in high school and watch the classic love story movies; those are the ones that women watch; that’s what they expect. At least you’ll have a frame of reference when you get to the real work that’s done in relationships.
Dating is Hard: Truth is Relative: Dating can be really tough because you’re still ‘dating.’ You’re not working from a common playbook and you’re not speaking about things in the same way. So when one of you offers a “white lie” to the other you might as well have cracked all 10 of the commandments.
Dating is Hard: Rules Are Changing: I’ve said this is a classic study but as long as I’ve been dating the rules have been changing. Things are always changing; dating has sort of ascribed itself a set of rules. I dated this girl in high school; her folks were loaded; loaded! I wasn’t. Still, I liked to spend all my pithy money on her and she just wanted to be with me. She probably could have cared less about the things I was buying for her, but this was what ‘the guy’ is supposed to do. When you’re dating, it’s important to be open and honest and aware of class; even if you don’t want to address it. Get over that hump fast because the changing world will leave you in the dust!
Dating is Hard: Same Sex: Again, I said this was “classic rules,” but Freddie Mercury was flying his flag long before I was born. Gays have always been around me and a part of my life, so that’s my classic story. If you’re confused; as I was; about your sexuality growing up, it’s something you need to get past. You don’t want to fly in the face of everything which makes sense for you because of these social mores we’ve all got. You also don’t want to fly against everything in your life that’s real “just because.”
Dating is Hard: The L-word: Sitcoms make fun of this to no end, but it’s so true: “L-O-V-E” is not something which should be thrown around aimlessly. When I was a kid trying to shuck and jive my way through life, I told this girl I loved her. She didn’t give me back what I was looking for right then. However the fact that I said that brought her mom out to say, “If you love it then you better put a ring on it.” Thus goes, my life. Thus began my great awakening to the most lasting romantic relationship I’ve ever had in my lifetime.
Dating is Hard: Dating is Hard: Dating is hard because dating is hard. The rejection, the hope, the dashed coincidences, the hurtful truths, the radiant energy, the nuclear repellency; everything about dating is so extreme and divergent and makes you want to laugh and scream and run away and sigh and cry. But pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with it already! If you’re unfortunate enough to still be in that dating morass; I offer my condolences. However I’ll also say with the benefit of hindsight that if you are lucky enough to find someone you love, hold onto them. Fight for them. Because they could be stupid and just need the benefit of years to understand how lucky they really are.