Join me in a few minutes for my live blog from Spike TV’s “Guys Choice Awards 2010”
7:48 pm. Taping starts. Outgoing Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger thanking the troops in the audience…and thanking Spike TV for bringing the show to Los Angeles. “We need the revenue.”
Honoring Sylvester Stallone for his movies. He doesn’t know which movie he likes best – “Rambo 17 or Rocky 12.” “The guy made movies that generated 1.6 billion dollars.” Schwarzenegger will appear with Stallone in “The Expendables”-“That’s what my wife calls me,” Schwarzenegger said.
Stallone wins the first award of the night. “This has been the most pleasurable career. We’ll be pushing each other in wheelchairs, arguing who is the stronger. I’d like to thank everyone—Spike Awards. We couldn’t be in a better industry.”
8:00 p.m. Jason Segel from “Despicable Me” presenting the award for “Unstoppable Jock.” Winner is LeBron James. “I want to give a lot of thanks to Spike. Guys don’t get a lot of recognition-Father’s Day sometimes gets forgotten.”
8:04-Cast of new movie version “A-Team” presenting “Holy Grail of Hot.” Zoe Saldana versus Jessica Biel. Winner is Jessica Biel! “I want to thank my hottest of hot cast mates. Zoe-I can’t believe I’m in the same category as you-you are the hottest of hot. And guys, I think about you too when I..entertain myself.”
8:09-The annoyingly handsome and funny Jon Hamm presenting “Guy Movie of the Year” to “The Hangover.” Some of the people responsible for that massive “Hangover” accepted the award. Ken Jeong said “This was the guys and beyond. I’d like to think that Todd Phillips did a tremendous job as a director. We are mere puppets in his playpen.” Todd Phillips promised “Hangover 2” for next year.
8:15 Sir Ben Kingsley is humbled to present the award for “Literary Achivement”-first reading from Tracy Morgan’s “I Am the New Black.” “When I look at my teenage son now, I like to remind him that he was once a sperm cell.”
Kingsley also read from “I am Ozzy”-the ramblings of Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy wins the award. “I never thought I would win an award for writing a book.”
8:22-Ben Affleck presents next award, this one the “Decade of Hotness” for Charlize Theron. “Charlize said that looks may get you in the door, but there is always someone younger and prettier.” Charlize Theron takes the stage looking great in a black, off-the-shoulder evening gown-lots of wolf whistles from the audience. “My skirt is shorter than the cocktail waitresses’. Ben and I did a film together, but I wasn’t hot back then, so I want to apologize to Ben. Ten years of hotness? More like 9-2003 was a fat year, but it got me an Oscar. This award is like my Oscar…but much less important.”
8:28-“Most Dangerous Man” Award goes to George St. Pierre, the Canadian Mixed Martial Arts Champion and the Current UFC Welterweight Champion.
8:33-Scarlett Johansson introducing the 2010 “Most Manticipated Movie”: Christopher Nolan’s “Inception.” Accepting the award is Christopher Nolan, Joseph Levitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. Nolan said “It’s pretty exciting that we are being anticipated in this way.” Joseph said “This is going to sound like I’m kissing a–, but I am so excited to be in this movie.” DiCaprio said “We only hope you enjoy watching it as much as we did making it.
8:36-Kidd Rock singing “another one of those songs that make mom proud.” Presenting the award for “Hotter than Hell.” Rock said “I don’t know exactly how hot Hell is, but I expect to someday. I’ll get back to you on that.” The award goes to Brooklyn Decker. “I’m a model so we don’t get too many awards.”
8:46–The other boss from the Garden State, James Gandolfini. “First things first, I want to ask LeBron James to come to New Jersey.”
Gandolfini helps induct “Goodfellas” into the “Guy Movie Hall of Fame.” Showing some of the goriest scenes from the movie with a Ray Liotta voiceover. Accepting the award are Ray Liotta and Robert DeNiro. “It’s a great honor to be here with Ray. Joe Pesci couldn’t be here, but he sent this e-mail. ‘Bob, sorry I couldn’t be there, but tonight is the meeting of my Jane Austen book club.”
Ray Liotta’s character, Henry Hill, is in the audience. DeNiro dedicates the award to Puppet, the Psycho Dwarf, from Spike TV’s “Half-Pint Brawlers.”
8:56-Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson introduces the actress who makes you say “Jean Claude Gawd D***.” The winner is Scarlett Johansson! “This is pretty exciting for me. I would like to first and foremost the fans…and Jean Claude for lending his name.”
Sandra Bullock wins tha “Troop’s Choice Award.” Her estranged husband Jesse James gets skewered later by Triump the Comic Dog for “damaging the name of that famous bank robber.
An injured Shaun White picks up the “Chairman of the Board.” Ironically, on the Red Carpet, White was leaning on fancy cane, the result of a skateboarding accident in Venice, California.
Ozzy Osbourne joins the house band in a rousing, Ozzy-style rendition of “Iron Man” after Robert Downey, Jr. picks up his mantlers (he was competing against himself in the same category).
George Clooney closes out the night with a big win for “Guy of the Year.” Getting into the spirit of the event, Clooney held his golden “Mantlers” high while thanking all his (unprintable) fans.