In conclusion of our meeting together to share in how to deepen our communication with family and our partners in the “Can we talk” series, welcome back to part four and you are invited to continue with step six and go on from there:
6. Demonstrate respect and harmony, even when you disagree.
As we were discussing in the prior step five and in part three of the “Can we talk” series, we are all created differently and in so, our intention is to learn in this life to accept and respect, thus get along and love each other anyway -knowing that with those difference made intentionally, we will in fact, not agree on every detail in life, because we are not alike and that is the beauty… we are not carbon copies. See the joy in that.
Negative response to avoid: Abruptly changing topics to avoid what your family member or partner is talking about.
This is a typical tactic to avoid what the person is trying to discuss and their efforts to share. It denotes their feelings, demonstrates a lack of respect and disregard for the person speaking. The standard goes here; “treat others as you wish to be treated.”
7. Be willing to stay with a conversation; don’t assume, just listen and be open.
Sometimes we allow our minds to just run away with us; even have an entire conversation with a person and they are not even present -then by the time you see them, you’re already all worked up and they have no clue because they just walked in the door. Sound familiar? This is based on fears, doubts and all those “what if’s” that the mind makes up; fear of confrontation, fear of rejection, fear of anger, fear of being right/wrong, etc. Just face your fear. Courage isn’t about not being afraid, it’s just facing your fear straight on.
Negative response to avoid: Walking away or leaving the room while your family member or partner is talking.
This is like an attempt to tell your family member or partner, I’m the winner -but in reality there are no winners, everyone loses when there is no communication. By walking out in mid-conversation you have also indicated disrespect to the person speaking, belittled how they feel and told them you are not open to your relationship to them.
8. Be willing to take responsibility for your role in the relationship.
What do you want and how are you going to achieve it? Think of the big picture. Be honest with yourself and your family/partner.
Negative response to avoid: Continuously making excuses to avoid a conversation or perpetually postponing an event or topic.
Most often the behavior is reflective of an approach to handling matters in life, such as trying to avoid direct confrontation or avoiding what one perceives or assumes as an unpleasant or even an unwanted situation, but is unwilling to communicate effectively his/her true feelings. This is the opposite of creative problem solving, which improves relationships.
Our first relationships start in the home, with those closes to us -this is where we learn the beginning tools. We observe through our eyes, our ears, our touch, our smell and our heart. We continue to develop our senses and how we relate as we grow and are blessed with the ability to redevelop anything that we did not learn well early on, later in life throughout our other relationships through our awareness. We are created in likeness in formlessness so that life could be ever present in all and of the same, when brought in form, we could appreciate how the formless created all these differences to express itself as life.
Let us continue to consciously grow in our relationships with each other now; with our families, our friends, our partners, our peers, our friends, our co-workers and friends yet to be. It is as easy as pausing a moment and becoming aware in order to communicate with kindness, compassion, love, respect, courage and genuine strength and empowerment from within. The journey is yours; why not choose to live it as joyfully as possible with those around you.