Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are dead — or so someone with internet access and time on their hands would have the world believe. The latest dead celebrity rumor to hit the internet is proving difficult to track to its origin but it would seem that someone of the mental bent that killed Justin Bieber again Friday (someone or several someones are very persistent in killing off the tween sensation) and Russell Crowe on Thursday could not let the entire weekend pass without taking out the world’s best kissing couple, the “Twilight” stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. But Pattinson and Stewart seem to be quite alive, according to SassyQarla.com, who maintains that the couple were at a “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” convention on Saturday.
Of course, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart could have died sometime since… and it must be asked: If Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were actually dead, would anyone be able to verify it?
Far be it from anyone to point out that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart already resemble the dead (not to mention that Robert Pattinson plays a character, Edward Cullen, in the “Twilight” series where he has been dead — undead — for a hundred years). They may be two of the palest people on the planet. But their deathly white pallor and on-screen portrayals (Kristen Stewart will be dead — undead — soon, according to the books) do not equate to the actors themselves actually being dead.
Movie critics have had no problem finding Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart dead, either. Critics haven’t been kind to the “Twilight Saga” movies, often delving into the vampire theme of the movies to talk about how lifeless the acting is, how dead the scripts, how — as entertainment — they “suck” or “bite.”
Being dead is only one of the myriad rumors that swarm around the onscreen couple. According to tabloids, the two are romantically involved, Robert Pattinson is averse to bathing, the next “Twilight Saga” movie, “Breaking Dawn,” will be shot with nude scenes, and the two are really vampires in real life — as is co-star Dakota Fanning (who is also an abnormally pale actor).
As disappointing to all the “Twilight” haters as the news might be, it would seem that the latest dead celebrity rumor — that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had somehow met their end without a vampire around to resurrect them — is only that: Another silly rumor spawned, disseminated, and perpetuated on the internet for someone’s perverse enjoyment.