Booty Pop panties are just the latest way women are looking to attract men in eye-popping 3D, as the panties with rounded pads give us gals with pancake butts just the boost we need. But are Booty Pop panties fun, or just false advertising?
My first thought on hearing the Booty Pop brand name was an image of a butt-shaped lollipop (ew!). Then I imagined these panties with little balloon inserts that you could actually pop (hey, at least you could give a guy a good laugh when he realizes he doesn’t have the real deal). But Booty Pop panties are actually just padded panties with foam, egg-shaped inserts and a cute name. And they’re probably best worn with jeans (I think the inserts would look more like two strange growths than a perky rear-end under flimsy material).
I guess we can thank the likes of J-Lo, Beyonce, and Kim Kardashian for the growing popularity of buttock implants and their less-expensive alternative. While I do applaud Kim Kardashian for trying to stop a woman on Twitter from getting head-to-toe plastic surgery to look like the reality show star so her husband wouldn’t leave her, there are still thousands of other women out there who don’t want to be loved for who they are; they just want to look aesthetically pleasing. And the latest way to look perfect seems to be with lumps in all the right places, as per songs like “Bootylicious”, “Baby Got Back”, and “My Humps”.
And making ourselves look “humpier” seems incredibly popular these days. Victoria’s Secret sells all sorts of padded bras, including some with liquid-filled inserts (it’s not pretty when the oily substance leaks out, trust me and a bathroom trashcan full of paper towels). And we even seem to want bumps on our heads, as ‘Jersey Shore’ star Snooki has proved with her iconic hair poof. As in the case of the Booty Pop, there’s even an easy, infomercial way to achieve her look with the plastic Bumpits hairpiece.
But are all these “bumps” false advertising? Well, while guys dread the deceptive padded push-up bra, I think they might be relieved to find that your giant head bump is “fake”. However, you know they’ve got to be rolling their eyes at the Booty Pop. I guess you can argue that padded bras and panties, along with fake eyelashes, makeup, stilettos, shape wear, colored contact lenses, hair weaves, and all the other crazy items we use to try and look good are false advertising, but, unfortunately, it’s darn near impossible these days to get a guy to notice you without all the “extras”. Think of it like a hamburger: would they rather have the boring hamburger with a slab of meat, a tomato, and a little sauce, or would they prefer the cheeseburger topped with bacon, jalapenos, pepper jack cheese, and barbeque sauce? Sure they’ll pay for it with hellacious heartburn later, but it was sure worth it at the time.
In the end, it’s not really a fair deal for both parties: the girl feels insecure and goes through too much trouble to look good, and the guy gets duped, although I have a sneaky suspicion that most gals go through what they do to compete with other women, not attract a mate. Regardless, as long as celebrities with curves in the right places continue to turn heads, bumps and lumps are going to be a big deal. So maybe we should just all take a page from Lady Gaga; cover ourselves with plastic bubbles; and call it a night.