My friend could hardly contain his glee as he showed off his new Home Theater System, complete with 8 leather reclining chairs, large screen, Blu-Ray video, and premium sound. His wife, on the other hand, sat in quiet disappointment. He then confessed that she was mad because after spending all their money on his new toy, they had none left for her to get a boob job.
So, in an effort to make her feel better, allow me to introduce the Top 10 Reasons why your money is better spent on a Home Theater System than on a boob job for your wife (in no particular order).
1) A Home Theater System has a mute button. I could probably stop right there.
2) The Home Theater System is ready for you 24/7. Any time you want to try it out, it says “C’mon big boy, don’t be shy with my buttons and volume knob!” Good luck getting that kind of service from the recipient of the new boobs.
3) With a Home Theater System, you want your friends to stare in awe at how lifelike the images are on the big screen. With new boobs, that’s just entrapment.
4) The Home Theater System will never encourage others to come over, take a look and cop a feel. With new boobs, it will happen. It’s only a matter of time.
5) You don’t secretly want to kick your friend’s butt when he settles into the Home Theater’s plush leather seating, kicks his legs up, and feels the vibration from the gargantuan subwoofer as he loses himself in fantasy. Anything remotely similar that occurring with the new breasts will be grounds for a fight.
6) Many Home Theater Systems include computers with several “gigs of memory” for watching videos on demand. The new boobs have a significantly lower number of “gigs of mammary,” and the “On Demand” feature has been permanently disabled.
7) A Home Theater System is capable displaying boobs in all shapes, sizes and condition. New boobs: not as much variety.
8) With a Home Theater System, you won’t mind bragging about how many watts it puts out. With new boobs all references to “putting out” (or the lack thereof) will result in a one way trip to the dog house.
9) With a Home Theater System, you may be able to write off the cost as a business expense by hosting parties for clients. With boobs, this will only occur if you can prove that your spouse’s sales volume has increased as a result of the boob job. Of course, to maintain the integrity of the deduction, she will insist on reducing the instances of personal use.
10) In the unfortunate event you get divorced, you may have a shot at keeping the Home Theater System, but the boobs are gone!!!