Ah the delicious thought of having a stable of devoted submissives to train, drain, chat with, be amused by and simply enjoy. It seems so easy, simple and effortless to build such a delightful group of delicious entertainment, but often it takes a lot more thought and preparation then most will give it thought.
When considering a stable of submissives, you need to take a few things into consideration ahead of time.
Time available on your end!
What does your life look like? Are you busy working a job out of the house? Do you have a family to take care off which naturally must come first? Are you often away on travel? All those things will restrict your available time to train and communicate with your submissives greatly. Contrary to so much popular belief those who serve loyally should not be kept to have to wait all the time until you have a moment for them. They may be your toys, but they should never be made to feel like forgotten or abandoned toys. Before setting out to build your stable, sit down and look over your time and obligations to yourself and others around you. Then take that in consideration before you start.
Time Zones and sleeping Patterns!
Those are highly important factors as well when you add your submissives to the family. If you are only online during specific hours and days, will you be able to interact with submissives applying to you from a different Time Zone easily or would you have to set your alarm clock to be able to make use of them. If yes, are you willing to do so? Remember that in the beginning during application process and of course getting to know period you are not assured of their promptness and integrity. So you can easily rise just to find yourself sitting there angry at them for not showing up and interrupting your sleep.
How many can you emotionally handle?
There is a lot more to owning submissives the most folks actually realize. Dom/mes do undergo a lot of work before each session to set it up, think it out and make it perfect for each submissive. We often stand as counselors for many areas of our submissives life’s and more often or not are the buffers for their emotional upheavals. Training and draining sessions are very intense for both Parties and can take a lot out of you emotionally. As the submissive undergoes his feelings of submission and losses his control, we must step our control and watchfulness up. Our submissives trust us with not only their wallet in most cases, but their life as well. In financial domination especially it is so easy to ruin someone without being aware of it, if the submissive has neglected to give you all the details. As they spin out of control, you need to keep your greed firmly in check. I know for myself that during a wallet rape my mind reels and I find myself struggling to stay reasonable. As our submissives are turned on during such sessions so are we, and it is perfectly human to want to go further and take more. Now as you reign yourself in your energy is divided and often becomes draining. With all of this in mind you need to understand yourself first and know how many submissives you can safely handle emotionally and then stick to this number. As time and experience increases so does your capacity to take more and be less affected by it.
Who to bring in?
You have the time, you know your limits and you are set. Now comes another hard part, which of your applicants to you bring into your stable? A fact is that male subs are competitive but less often jealous of each other. Your submissives need to see each other as a Brotherhood and/or Family which is ready to aid each other at any time. Some submissives are not capable of this and would disrupt your carefully laid out design. If you have a submissive applicant who is extremely jealous or an extreme attention whore, you may want to think twice. Sexuality only comes into play partially, since submissives can freely interact with each other without being forced to commit sexual acts with each other.
What rights and say do you wish to allow your subs?
Online it may not be such a big issue since unless you push them into a chat room or conference together they won’t really have to interact much. If you however are going the real time route you must consider the question of giving them voting rights. Will you allow them a say in deciding if a particular submissive will be brought into the fold on a permanent bases?
Alpha submissives or not?
An alpha sub is a strange animal indeed, right? Not really, a lot of alpha subs can be quiet amusing and come in handy when you run a stable. When I still had a real time stable (I never allowed them to live with me because of my then kids, but all visited during safe times together) I always had a male alpha and a female alpha slave. Those were my right and left hand, and were in the process to be cross trained into becoming Masters and Mistresses in their own right. So they remained submissive to only me, but were essentially my seconds in command to the rest. This worked out well, since now I had someone who could help me in setting things up and keeping everyone occupied and never left out. They can also step up when I was ill or just too tired, then performing assigned duties to amuse me by using my slaves in front of me, while I could sit back relaxing and enjoying the show.
Online an alpha sub can also be useful in organizing events and gathering of the submissives for a family meeting, passing along important notes to all or keep everyone posted during times of high stress for you. If you are extremely busy during a period or ill, it is a lot easier just to have to communicate with one person directly and be able to trust them to inform everyone else of your orders or wishes. They can also stand guard for safety over the lesser submissives during a public event.
Favorites or all are equal?
To say that you will never have a favorite or a number #1 is probably naive. Usually your longest serving and best trained submissive in due time rises to that position. If you are married to this submissive, then he or she becomes automatically your #1 or at least should have that position of honor.
However where all must remain equal is in your Rules. Rules should within the agreed upon limits be equal for all, or you have a huge riot on your hands. Remember that any stable is only as good as its members and its Owner. If the Owner fails so will the submissives.
Disciplines and punishments!
Are you going to administer disciplinary actions and punishments as a group to get them to work together more and keep each other inline or do it only in private to the individual?
Group meetings and worship!
I personally have always enjoyed bringing my submissives together one day out of the month when possible for a worship session. This to me was a ritual that bonded them in their adoration for me. Each acolyte had their very own protocol and duty assigned to them and performed it in his / her turn. Thus making it a true spiritual worship service day. Afterwards we would address worries, concerns and issues with each other and find suitable solutions to strengthen or to keep our family unit strong. During this time they were under the “speak freely” Rule, which means they could speak freely as long as it was respectful without fear of discipline or reprimand.
Handling the loss of a submissive!
Loss is a part of life and BDSM is no different. What comes by nature must depart. In some cases it is due to illness and no longer being able to serve, change in their vanilla circumstances, too many disagreements or growing apart, dismissal, and worst of all death.
When you lose a stable submissive you need to remember that you won’t be the only one feeling the loss, but your submissives will do so as well. Are you prepared to put your own emotional needs aside to deal with theirs first? We always say that the Dom/me is always first priority and that is true in the thoughts and minds of the good submissives. On the other hand, we as Dom/mes must always keep the safety, physical – emotional – mental, of our submissives as first priority and that often goes above our own. This is why only allowing good and worthy submissives who understand their place and responsibilities is so very important.
