If you are in a dominant/submissive relationship, there is a likelihood that at some point you may encounter subspace as well as sub-drop. Both are terms that are common yet misunderstood. Subspace refers to the place a submissive can soar to when she is in the middle of a scene with her dominant. Sub-drop refers to the coming down from sub-drop. Both can affect a submissive emotionally, mentally and physically.
Subspace can come about from a session in which there is a lot of physical pain involved. It can also come about when there is intense pleasure involved. Subspace can also result from a deeply emotional moment resulting from unresolved feelings that may spring forth in the middle of a BDSM scene.
When a submissive enters subspace, there is a feeling of soaring. It could very well be compared to an out of body experience. She does not usually feel her physical body at this point. What she feels is entirely emotional and spiritual. She feels detached from reality. Changes in the body occur during subspace. A submissive may have a drop in blood pressure. Her breathing will become shallow. It is almost like a semi-conscious state. The soaring can last for several minutes, and then comes what is referred to as sub-drop.
Sub-drop is when a submissive begins to enter back into a fully conscious state of mind after being in subspace. This can be very difficult on a submissive…emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Reality can seem harsh after being in subspace, and a submissive has a longing to remain in subspace where she is soaring without a care. When a submissive enters into sub-drop, there can be an almost violent reaction. She may sob uncontrollably. She may physically fight the feeling that comes over her. Her heart rate will spike back up. She may hyperventilate. Her blood pressure will rise.
It is the responsibility of the dominant to make sure that the submissive returns gently from subspace. This can be done by holding the submissive closely, gently stoking her, whispering to her that she is safe and loved, and that he is not going to leave her. This transition is extremely important on both an emotional as well as a physical level. It is not safe for someone’s blood pressure and heart rate to spike and drop quickly within a short period of time. It is also important that the submissive feel safe when she comes back down from subspace.
Casey’s first experience with subspace was very scary to her. She had not anticipated it and did not know what was happened to her. At first it was beautiful as she soared outside of herself. But when she came down, it was quick and her reaction was extreme. She began sobbing uncontrollably. She jumped up and ran into the bathroom and locked herself in there. Her dominant was caught totally unaware by what was happening. He had no experience with dealing with subspace or sub-drop, so he was unsure as to what to do. When he got the bathroom door open, he found Casey on the bathroom floor. She was mumbling incoherently, sobbing and hyperventilating. It was a very scary experience for both of them. Fortunately, the outcome was good. His instincts took over and he sat on the floor and cradled her softly until she was okay.
If you are in a BDSM relationship, be prepared to experience subspace and sub-drop. Not every submissive will experience it, but some will. If you are a dominant it is your job to be prepared just in case it happens. It can be a very beautiful experience to share together if you are prepared.
