Do you lose any new friends you make after a short period of time? Do your friendships always seem to end with a series of unreturned phone calls and emails until your never hear from the person again? While you may think that your behavior and involvement in your friends’ lives is perfectly acceptable and shows how much you care for your friends, you may actually be a very needy friend. Read this article to see if any of these questions apply to you.
Do You Get Upset Or Annoyed If You Don’t Hear From Your Friends Every Day? Adults lead busy lives. Between work, home and childcare, there is generally not enough time in every day to check in with friends. While expecting to check in with friends on a regular basis is not necessarily a sign that you are being needy, becoming disappointed or angry when that doesn’t happen every day, could certainly be a sign that you are a needy friend. Consider the fact that friendships change and evolve as people enter into adulthood and that a life centered around work and immediate family instead of friends is normal and healthy.
Do You Expect To Be Notified Of Every Single Event In Your Friend’s Life? While good friends like to share much of their lives with each other, friends do not need to discuss every minute detail together. If you find yourself becoming irritated that your friend didn’t tell you that she bounced a check last week or that her child had her braces put on a few days ago, you may be too needy of a friend. If you are so concerned with every single last thing your friend and her family is doing, it may be a sign that you need to make your own life a little more full and complete.
Do You Get Jealous When Your Friend Spends Time With Other People? Adults should be free to make as many friends as they choose and spend their free time any way they choose. One friend does not replace another. Most adults accept that fact and do not expect their friends to only be friends with one person at a time. This is how children behave, not grown adults. If you find yourself becoming irate that your friend had lunch or went jogging with a neighbor or coworker instead of spending that time with you, you are certainly showing signs of being a needy friend.
Do You Constantly Lean On Your Friend For Support? Adults should certainly lean on their friends for emotional support when the going gets touch, but too much reliance on a friend can indicate that the relationship has turned needy. If you constantly need to borrow money, get rides to and from somewhere, and ask your friend to babysit your kids while you go to work or run errands, this a definite sign that you are a needy friend.
Do You Find It Difficult To Handle Any Type Of Stressful Situation Without Talking It Over With Your Friend? While we all need a shoulder to cry on occasionally or get the feedback and suggestions from a friend when there is a difficult decision to be made, an adult friend should not be relied on for every decision from whether to refinance your home to what to serve for Christmas dinner. If you find yourself unable to make any decisions without first checking with your friend, that is a reliable sign that you are being too needy.
Being too needy in a friendship can drive the other person away very quickly. There is only a limited time in an adult life to enjoy time with friends, and if that time is spent with someone who zaps your energy and resources, the friendship has very little chance of surviving over the long term. If you see yourself in these questions and have a history of short term friendships, consider spending time and energy on making yourself a more independent and self reliant person. This will not only improve your self esteem, it will make you more appealing to potential friends in the future.