Since my March collection of newspaper articles that made me laugh (see http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2880832/five_newspaper_stories_that_made_me.html?cat=49) was well received, I decided to find five more articles in April. Once again it hasn’t been easy. In fact it took almost the whole month before I found five. I hope they bring a smile or laugh to your day.
Urns For Sale
A Florida man stole more than two dozen bronze vases from a cemetery in Lakeland, Florida. According to an article in the Tampa Tribune the man sold some of the decorative vases to a restaurant owner who did not know the vases were stolen. The unsuspecting restaurant owner decided not to use the urns and asked an employee to sell them for scrap. A vigilant scrap dealer recognized the vases and contacted the police. Police arrested the thief as he was trying to sell the restaurant owner more vases two days later. The thief was found with seven stolen vases in his truck but denied knowing what the vases were or how they got in his truck.
The Vatican Accepts the Beatles
Forty years ago this year the Beatles went their separate ways. The Tampa Tribune noted in an article that the Vatican used this opportunity to end the bad feelings they harbored against the Beatles. The Vatican newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano, praised the Beatles. “It’s true, they took drugs…they lived dissolute and uninhibited lives. They even said they were more famous than Jesus…” but, the paper went on to say, “Their beautiful melodies…live on like precious jewels.”
Scholarships For Creativity
Jilian Mincer reports in an article in the Wall Street Journal that there are a multitude of college scholarships available on the internet and you don’t have to be top of your class to receive them. You just need to be a little creative. Two Colorado students, for instance, each won $3000 by creating prom outfits out of duct tape. They won the “Stuck at the Prom Scholarship Contest” sponsored by Duct tape marketers.
Some other examples of available monies include the Tall Clubs International which gives $1000 grants to men at least 6’2” and women at least 5’10”. If you are a graduate student looking for a degree in agribusiness you could apply for a $5000 grant given out by the National Potato Council. The only requirement to apply for this grant is that your degree will enhance the potato industry.
Did you know that your last name could also win you some cash for college? Loyola University of Chicago offers scholarship money to Catholic students with the last name Zolp. Both a birth certificate and baptismal certificate are required to prove your validity. The money is available through a bequest from Fr. William Zolp who took some classes at the school. At North Carolina State University in Raleigh, Gatlin or Gatling is the name that will get you money. John Gatling, a successful business man, left funds to the school for such scholarships.
Or You Could Open a Parking Lot
Two enterprising women in St. Petersburg, Florida came up with an unusual way to make money. The Tampa Tribune reports that two women found a private parking lot near where they live. They covered the “No Parking” signs and charged Tampa Bay Rays sports fans $10 a car to park. The scam was discovered when five of the cars were towed and the angry owners complained to the police.
Women Cause Earthquakes
Ladies, do you realize how powerful we really are? Powerful enough to cause earthquakes according to an Iranian cleric. Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted in a New York Post article by David K. Li, “Many women who do not dress modestly…lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity, spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes.” To prove Sedighi wrong, an Indiana college coed, Jennfier McCreight, proposed that on Monday April 26 women dress a little more immodestly than they usually do. McCreight, 22, wasn’t going to overdo it. She planned to wear a tank top rather than her normal tee shirt. According to McCreight’s website over 45,000 female readers volunteered to follow suit and anxiously wait for the earth to move.
Sources: The Tampa Tribune
The New York Post
The Wall Street Journal