Very, very rarely I come across a story so devastating it enraptures me to the point that I become deeply passionate about the victims. Today, I came across a story that is so traumatic, it is consuming my every thought. It is the story of Abbie Dorn, her ex-husband Don Dorn, and their precious triplet babies.
After reading it, I prayed for her and the triplets, then joined a few Facebook groups in support of her. Now that I’ve calmed down a little, I think I’ll take a chance at writing a public letter to Dan Dorn, ex-husband of Abbie Cohen Dorn.
After coming across the story of Abbie Dorn and researching it online, I learned that Abbie and Don Dorn underwent infertility treatment. They became pregnant with triplets. Tragically, during the c-section, the doctor nicked Abbie Dorn’s uterus.
Sadly, this caused significant blood loss leading to brain damage. Abbie became paralyzed and disabled. Dan Dorn then divorced Abbie. And, now tragically, he is refusing to let the triplets see their mother. While she is severely paralyzed, she can blink her eyes and it is clearly evident that she wants to see her precious children. She can smile, smirk and cry. Her face lights up when she sees her niece and nephew. She can utter a few words. On a Facebook group to support her, one of her friends mentioned that she replied with a clear and concise “good” after her friends told her she was doing so good. You can read more about the story of Abbie Dorn and her triplets here and here.
I don’t know if Don Dorn will see this letter. If Abbie Dorn’s family reads this, I want them to know that I will be praying for her daughter. I will pray that she will get to visit her children soon and frequently. I will pray that she will make significant improvement. And, I’ll pray for you as you support your daughter, and the mother of your precious grandchildren.
Here goes my attempt at an open tetter to Don Dorn, ex-husband of Abbie Dorn.
For more insight, check out the supplement I wrote to this: “One Mom’s Thoughts on the Abbie Dorn Case: Is Don Dorn’s Behavior Inethical?”
Dear Mr Dorn,
I want to start by saying that, although I do not agree with your actions to divorce Abbie Dorn and refuse to let her see her children, my heart does go out to you.
Mr. Dorn, I experienced infertility as well, and know it is a very painful roller coaster. But what happened to you is beyond painful and devastating. There is probably no word to describe this trauma. My heart is truly breaking for you and Abbie. No mother or father, or child, should have to experience such as a terrible tragedy.
That being said, Mr. Dorn, I urge you, plead with you, to let your precious triplets see their mother, Abbie Dorn. Not only should they see her, they should interact her, and form the mother-child bond that every kid needs.
It upsets me that you believe that seeing their own biological mother will be traumatic for them. Ask any child whose parent became disabled if they would never want to see their mom again, and I can assure you, most would say it would be devastating. Also, it is apparent from the pictures with her niece and nephew that they are in no way traumatized at all. Abbie’s face “lights up” when she sees her niece and nephew. You’re children deserve to see her face light up and feel her love.
It upsets me that you worry that they will “feel guilty for causing their mother to be this way.” Mr. Dorn, kindly, I must tell you, you are confused. They did not cause Abbie Dorn to become this way. It upsets me that you are holding them responsible for her condition. They did not cause her to become this way any more than you caused it by helping her to become pregnant. It is not the children’s fault and please, stop blaming them.
And, never, ever tell the children that they caused their mother to become disabled. They did not cause this tragedy.
Visits and interaction with their mother would not cause them to feel guilty. In fact, years later, they would feel guilty that they didn’t have a relationship with the woman who loves them so much.
They can’t talk with her. But they can hold her hand. They can smile at her. They can feel a mother’s love that no other person will be able to replace. They will be able to communicate with her through blinking. Perhaps they will hear her utter a few words and see her smile.
As they grow older they will be able to read to her.
Sing to her.
Pray for her.
Listen to music with her.
Watch TV with her.
Show her their favorite teddy bear.
Show her their new ant farm.
Hold her hand.
Show her the “A” they got on a term paper.
Tell her about the first job they started.
Tell her how they’ve become motivated to become an attorney, doctor, social worker, or physical therapist because of her situation.
Show her the wedding dress they’ve picked out.
Announce a pregnancy to her.
Introduce her grand baby to her saying, “Here’s your Grandma. She loves you very much!”
Tell her how much they love her. And just know that they are truly loved by their mother.
Mr. Dorn, you are depraving your children of feeling the love from their mother, Abbie Dorn. This is a love that no birth injury can destroy.
I urge you to allow your triplets to see their mother. Perhaps Abbie’s parents will move her and themselves to be closer to you. Allow them to see her every day, or at least three times a week. Allow your children to experience the love from their grandparents that grandkids should. Please, Mr. Dorn, Please.
Even in her condition, she can still have an active role in their lives. One idea, at this age, is to find a Kindermusik teacher. A teacher could come to the home for fun music lessons with the triplets. Abbi could be present, enjoying the music and watching her children flourish. While she won’t be able to participate much, perhaps the music will be a form of music therapy for her. But more importantly, her children will form a bond with their loving mother, Abbie Dorn.
Mr. Dorn, I mean no offense to you at all. I just want your children to know their mother. Thank-you for taking the time to read this letter about your ex-wife, Abbie Dorn, and these precious babies. Your children need their mother and grandparents Now. more than Ever.
Sincerely and Respectfully,
To anyone out there in cyberspace who would like to fight for Abbie Dorn and her triplets, please join Facebook groups to support Abbie Dorn. There is the “Stand Up for Abbie Dorn” group on Facebook here. There is also the “Abbie Cohen Dorn Must See Her Babies” Facebook group here.
I think, more than anything, Abbie needs prayers. Prayers that she will continue to improve and prayers that her triplets will get to feel their mother’s love.
Please read “One Mom’s Thoughts on the Abbie Dorn Case: Is Don Dorn’s Behavior Inethical?” for more discussion on the Abbie Dorn case.