July 18th, 2008. A memorable day in cinematic history. The release date for Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight. Without a doubt, the most anticipated movie in quite some time, I had oogled over every trailer, every picture, and every news bit while trying to stay away from the spoiler-ish blogs and Facebook comments analzying every potential plot point. Now, I’m sure a lot of people rode the bandwagon for this film, especially when Heath Ledger passed away, but for me, it had been at least a year before it was released that I started to take note of The Dark Knight.
So, July 18th, 2008 came and I would not let ANYONE ruin this day. Making sure I was let off work early enough, I bought my ticket in advance, and I showed up to the movie theater, where I smartly beat the incoming crowd. I get my seat, settle in, and the best wait of my life begins.
And then they came in.
A group of guys came in, probably frat guys, and they sat 2 rows ahead of me. They are loud, especially This Guy. You know this person, the one who thinks he owns the place, so he has to be the loudest one in the room (see also, the definition of DOUCHEBAG). To be LOUD at a movie theater, I swear to God, I cannot stand. I’m Italian, yet there is a time and a place to be loud. A movie theater is not one of them. So, I try and be patient, knowing full well once the lights dim, everyone gets quiet, and most of the cell phones are turned off.
I was wrong.
First trailer hits, it’s Watchmen, and it’s a pretty sweet trailer. But you wouldn’t know that if you just took the public reaction, because amidst all the quieter chatter, This Guy from the group just yells “Man, that looks stupid.” Ok, so as the trailers are going, I’m getting his comments after most of them, and now I have to wait for the movie to start. Thankfully, once it did, it was loud enough to drown out the noise of everyone I didn’t want to hear. Yet, as the film went on and on, and the action died down, This Guy started opening his stupid mouth again. Every time the Rachel Dawes character showed up, Guy here had a comment for her, like “What a hussy” and so on. I don’t care what movie it is, if you are loud during a movie, and I’m there, I fantasize about beating the crap out of you to the point where you will never speak again. It’s common courtesy. I don’t care if you’ve seen the film 3 times before, or you didn’t want to come, don’t ruin it for the rest of us.
Good news is that by the end of the film, Guy stopped talking. Yet he was probably one of the rudest people I know, even if I didn’t know him personally. While there have been plenty of rude things done to me, in the grand scheme of things, most were either unintentional or misinterpreted by me. This was something else. I was almost robbed of something I had been waiting for for at least a year.
If you see someone talking during a movie, throw popcorn at them. If they keep talking, call an usher. If that doesn’t work, throw them down the flight of stairs. We all know That Guy, and we should do what we can to prevent any more from popping up.