Come along and sing a song
And join the jamboree!
In all the time since I’ve watched America’s Got Talent, starting at Season 2, I have never seen such atrocious talent start off an episode. I wasn’t sure how it would be like in Orlando, let’s say compared to the major cities of Los Angeles and New York. Of course I was not expecting the caliber to be that of those cities where talented people are on every street corner. Yes, I expected the standard bad acts for the shock factor that’s prevalent in every episode. However, nothing could prepare me with a time-wasting first half featuring the stupidest acts I’ve ever seen on America’s Got Talent. Thankfully the second half was filled with more entertaining acts that got my attention. Hopefully you were spared of watching the first half of this show. The second half was well worth concentrating on.
The Heinously Bad:
These are the silly acts that took up virtually the entire first half of the show. Quite honestly, I think this was done by design by the show’s producers. For the past few weeks they’ve had stellar talent from cities with a lot of extraordinary talent. Why not change it up a bit and put in a colossal amount of bad acts. Most likely everyone by now is bored to tears with only good acts. At least that is my theory and I’m sticking to it.
Jason Pote – What kind of dance talent is that to skip around the stage? That is all he did for his 90-seconds. Jason, how dare you call yourself a dancer? You are a disgrace to all dancers around the world. Please stick to being a lifeguard saving lives, provided that is what you really do.
Solomon A. – Anyone who parodies Britney Spears is a friend of mine. The only problem was Solomon wasn’t very good. Though I must admit he did make me laugh. That’s more than I can say for a majority of these bad acts.
Hepsfury and Perege Live – There was no talent involved regarding this hideous act or whatever it was. They claimed to be from outer space. I believe they were picked off the street to perform badly on purpose for this talent show. Why not have some real raw talent for a change and humiliate them in the process.
Jonathan Timpanelli – Here was the guy featured on the TV commercial for America’s Got Talent with the goofy eyebrows wearing a tuxedo. His act pretty much consisted what you saw on the commercial. I must say I wondered how he did that. It was fine for filler entertainment, but not to win a million dollar talent show.
The Morphs – A weird bunch of dancers whose face was covered entirely with their body suits. How on earth can anyone see out of that? The answer is obviously not very well, because these dancers were truly bad. They were too slow and out of sync the whole time. Their choice of music was interesting, but extremely dumb to dance to. It was either the Backstreet Boys or ‘NSYNC. Who knows, they all sound alike to me.
Billy Bob Steinberg – I’m all for percussionists playing on unique items, but an old-fashioned bicycle? There were some interesting sounds coming out of it, but the presentation of the act itself was a bore. Good riddance Billy Bob.
The Hula Monsters – The only thing I liked about their act was the hula hoops. I love taking them round and round my waist and hips. They are the perfect workout tool. Also, these hula hoops looked like they had different colors going around inside them that fascinated me. However, their routine was too slow and out of synchronization.
Lonnie Lear – Hmmm…..what a sheer coincidence this guy comes from the same city and state from last year’s winner of America’s Got Talent, “Mr. Chicken Catcher” himself – Kevin Skinner. Lonnie claims he sings better than Kevin. Obviously that is not the case. Personally, I think this guy was an obvious plant.
Believe it or not there were some more hideously bad talent, but these were the highlights. Take it or leave it.
You Gotta Love ‘Em:
This is when America’s Got Talent started becoming a real talent show for a change, instead of a bad reality show, midway through the episode.
Kruti Dance Academy – A couple of years ago there was an international dance competition show featuring incredible cultural and contemporary dancers. These Indian dancers reminded me so much of the ones I saw on there. I absolutely loved what they did with their arms and hands. Too bad we could not see more of this unique dance routine. Instead, we had to see all of those horrible time-wasting acts.
Lil Chris – Too bad this 12 year old singer wasn’t shown very much. The little I saw of him he has a great voice and stage presence.
Elaine Terranova – At first I thought, here we go again…another bad act being showcased. However, this 73 year old woman looked absolutely wonderful for her age. I actually liked the dress she wore. Her rendition of Bob Seger’s, one of my favorite rock singers, Old Time Rock & Rollwas actually quite interesting. She’s not the best singer, but certainly the most sincere entertainer I’ve seen on that show. Elaine looked like she was having the time of her life. She didn’t care what anyone thought.
Jayna Lee (a.k.a Strong Woman) – Wow! This next act, please don’t try this one at home. She is certainly a strong woman in physical terms. Jayna proceeds to do a backbend. While in that position with her stomach exposed Nick Cannon is assisted by someone (probably a stagehand). Nick literally stands on her stomach for several seconds. Jayna is as cool as a cucumber during all of this. You had to see it to believe it.
The Saviors from the Brink of Disaster:
Finally, we come to the best acts that possessed some good humor, the sincerest of efforts, full of shock value and the WOW factor.
Nick Pike – Originally from England he attempts to perform his dangerous act for the first time. It comprises of riding a 6-foot unicycle that’s on fire while juggling batons on fire, break dancing, more juggling, acrobatics and juggling a chainsaw with some fruit. Piers made it clear he will buzz him if he drops anything while juggling. Nike said he would then do his version of Riverdance, which is exactly what he did when he dropped some bowling pins. His sense of humor is what won him over with Piers later on despite the error in his juggling act.
Nathaniel Kenyon – It’s been a while since there was a singer playing an acoustic guitar. Nathaniel had an extraordinary backstory by working in an elderly home. He was inspired to do this since he cared for his grandmother who suffered from Lou Gehrig’s disease. He loves to perform for the residents at the home he works at. They all love his music. Nathaniel explained he was very nervous performing. It certainly showed in his body language, especially his face. Once he started singing it was fine. Afterwards, the judges could see his hand shaking, which he showed to the audience. One thing that got my attention was his sincerity. He is by no means a polished singer, but has immense charisma and good looks. Nathaniel reminded me so much of Tim Urban from Season 9 of American Idol.
Twisted Trystan & Krystan – This is one act I could not watch. It involved sword swallowing and having an electric drill down someone’s throat. They are an engaged couple who I hope lives long enough to get married. To say this is a dangerous act would be an understatement. Trystan already had an accident swallowing a sword and cutting up something internally. Even though I did not watch them perform I could hear the audience in pure agony, shock and in awe.
Wreckless – As usual America’s Got Talent saved the very best for last. Once again one of the many things I love about this show is its variety of dance groups. Most of them are good, but not really exciting…until now. This is by far the best talent I have seen all season. Piers said they “kicked butt”. That is exactly what Wreckless did. Their dance training is purely from the streets. They have never trained out of a studio where the specialized flooring and necessary wall mirrors are needed for practicing routines. I’m not crazy over Lady Gaga’s music, but when they danced to Gaga’s Telephone I was hooked from start to finish. They were precise, rhythmic, sharp, and synchronized every step of the way. It was certainly worth sitting through thirty minutes of bad acts to finally be wowed by Wreckless. I can’t wait to see more of them.
At the start of the show Piers said Orlando was “too bloody hot”. Try living in Florida year round Piers. Then you’ll know what hot weather is really like. Obviously he wasn’t referring to the talent, though Wreckless came through for them at the last minute. Howie loved Orlando as he has been there many times, even performed in the past on the same stage with all the great talent we saw. Nest week will be more auditions from other cities.
Who’s the leader of the club
That’s made for you and me
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
You’re as welcome as can be