2010’s American Idol Finale isn’t so much about numbers as about minutes. How many minutes of camera time will be dedicated to the probable winner, Crystal Bowersox, and how many will be devoted to the judge-you-love-to-hate, Simon Crowell.
If talk around the watercooler is an indicator, Simon is probably going to win. After all, Crowell famously called out Crystal Bowersox as the one to win early in the season…on like the second show. And poor Lee didn’t help his chances with his lackluster performance last night.
So the first tribute to Simon begins with a recap of some of his worst judging moments at 8:15 p.m. and then we hear everything from incredibly bad to “sounds like cats jumping off the empire state building.” And then he’s slurping in the middle of a poor guy’s audition. Ryan says he’s feeling weepy, then he and Randy start celebrating when the camera is off. Ryan promises more memories as the show progresses. Count so far:
Crystal Bowersox: 1/10 of a group sing
Simon Crowell: 3 minutes
Pardon me for a moment…the Bee Gees are singing and it’s reminding me of my first love. “How Deep is Your Love” always makes me cry, even though my first love’s love wasn’t very deep at all. Just a sidenote, Barry Gibb is looking a little old. Robin still looks good. Maruice, the sound’s not the same without you. RIP.
The BeeGees are followed by some former Idol contestants and most do a good job. Mike Lynch starts with a good version of “Taking It To The Streets,” only to be joined by the master doobie brother, Mike McDonald. Are you kids young enough to remember Mike McDonald? He hasn’t lost a bit of his talent.
Ryan introduces David Cook singing Simon’s greatest hits. A catchy little “Simon Says” tune. Good comparison: The honesty of Abraham Lincoln and the kindness of the many who shot him. Then some guys, I think former rejects take over the stage before it goes to commercial.
Cyrstal Bowersox 1/10 of a group sing
Simon Crowell: 6 minutes
The show opened with a somewhat creepy group sing with all the contestants dressed in Brittany Spears-inspired school uniforms singing with Alice Cooper (Wow..I didn’t know he was still around.) Anyway, if this was designed to sell tickets for the American Idol summer tour, I think it was a dud.
Chris Allen did do a good job singing a folksy number. I really like it, but I don’t know the name of it.
Anyway, the show is half-way over and I think we all see where we’re going. My prediction:
Crystal Bowersox: 7 minutes
Simon Crowell: 38 minutes