Hey ladies, if you want your man to “put a ring on it” here are some bits and pieces of information that I’ve gathered right from the horse’s mouth through the years. With a little positive thinking and strategic planning, he’ll carry you right to the altar.
Have fun reading!
Men are from where?
Men and women think completely different about relationships. Yes, I know you know this, but the key here is to use this information to your advantage. Men are capable of love, but they are not driven by it. By that I mean that they are not looking at the next date as a their “one and only” – or as a potential wife and mother of his children. They would be quite content to having sex in an alley with a different woman every night of the week if they could get away with it. Fortunately, most women wouldn’t dream of letting that get away that nonsense.
Women, on the other hand, are ruled by emotions. Common sense, friends and sisters may warn us about the new beau, but instead of running for the hills at the first sign of serious trouble, they continue headfirst into a dangerous relationship. Things don’t get better, they get worse! If he was a player and cheated before marriage, guess what? He’s is going to cheat, lie and still play after the wedding.
Getting what you want
The shrewd woman will now take this information and use it to get what she wants. If a man is interested in you, first of all – stop. Do not pass go! He will pursue you. Quite simply, it’s in a man’s nature to hunt his game (smile) and then boast about his conquest. A man loves a challenge. So, why not be that challenge? Let’s face it, if he’s not interested, there is nothing you can do anyway to change things. Accept that fact. Let’s look at an example, say you go out on a date with a great guy from work. The two of you hit it off. Great, now what’s your next move? Call him, or worse, wait by the telephone until he calls you? You ever notice how men never seem to rush to take the initiative in this regard? Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. No call. Why not be proactive and empower yourself with two things. Make a list of your good qualities and why a man would die to have you. Second, before your emotions get carried away by love and lust, make a list of his qualities, as you have perceived them early on. Then objectively look at your lists. You will be accomplishing three things:
1. Positive ego reinforcement for yourself. You will boost your self-worth in your own eyes. And the fact that yes, you deserve the best.
2. You will be forcing yourself to take an objective look at this individual before your emotions run high. Once that happens you won’t be able to see the forest for the trees.
3. You will be filling the time positively instead of passively waiting for the telephone to ring. Once the inertia – of the first date – is broken, keep the momentum going. Remember, like draws like. Once you have done this, the phone call won’t loom as large in your mind and you can move on with other things. Then, the call will loose some of its urgency. It is at this time that the mighty forces of the universe come to your aid. Have you ever noticed that the more you want something, the more you push it away? Or the longer it is in coming to you? Relax, visualize and let your blessings flow.
Beyond the first date
Okay. He’s called you after the first date. Congratulations, you ‘ve played your cards just right! Remember, now the game is just starting. Don’t assume anything. (Because they sure don’t). Take your time, talk and get to know him. If he likes sports, it’s probably a good idea to learn something about the sports he likes. Be able to have an intelligent conversation with him about his interests. And always, always look like a fox!
As for sex – do not get intimate. I never could understand why anyone would want to do this after a date or two. A woman would be exposing her hand. Keep him wandering what’s under that skirt. Men are like kids, they tire easily of new toys. As my mother would say, “why would he buy the cow if he can get the milk for free?” And, any guy that won’t wait is not worth it anyway. You don’t have to prove anything to anybody. So, why de-value yourself? Take a cold shower.
Above all, don’t let your girlfriends go because you have a man in your life. I’ve seen many girlfriends do this. They become too clingy on the guy. That will drive him away quick. Stay well rounded in your interests. Do some of the same things that you used to do. Include him too. Just don’t cut off everyone and everything and make him the center of your universe. Big mistake if you do. (I think that this is one of the reasons that break ups can be so devastating: women have dropped everyone and everything to spend twenty four hours of the day with the guy).
So, you are a few months into the relationship. You’ve even met his parents. Right on, girlfriend. Again, don’t take anything for granted. Stay well rounded. Enjoy new activities together. This really helps in cementing a relationship. It would be good to avoid the topic of marriage altogether lest he think that you are giving him some hints. His antenna will immediately go up and you’ll lose precious ground.
Sometimes, just to keep him on his toes, don’t always be available when he calls or suggests something. Men often take advantage of people when patterns develop. They really become laid back in a relationship. No way, we don’t want that to happen. Too much ground covered.
He’s finally proposed. You’ve made it! You have done all the things any intelligent, self confident woman would do to start, maintain and seal her relationship with her man. You are not only partners, but friends. This is what true relationships are made of.