For the final leg of the Bachelorette journey, Ali’s parents and brother and sister flew to Bora Bora to meet the remaining two men. Roberto was much more animated initially and charmed the family, much as he has Ali. (Not implying this is for show or anything. It’s just a personality observation.) He asked Ali’s dad if he could ask Ali to marry him.
Chris’s meeting with the family was a bit more reserved initially. But he’s a Massachusetts native, so he was immediately one of them, said the various family members. He, too, asked Ali’s dad for permission to ask Ali to marry him.
The next day, Ali began two one-on-one dates with the bachelors to clear up any doubts she may have had. Roberto was first up, and Ali decided right there that she didn’t have to look any further. She was absolutely in love with Roberto.
Instead of meeting Chris for their one-on-one date, Ali went to his room to tell him she’d already made her decision. She didn’t want to spend the day on a date with him and confuse the situation more and cause him more heartache. She certainly didn’t want to put him through the agony of waiting through a rose ceremony. She was incredibly stand up and honest…unlike others (cough, Justin, cough, Frank).
Is anyone as bummed out about this one as I am? Both men are really good guys, but there’s this nagging feeling I have that comes from having been there. (Okay so I haven’t had 25 bachelors fighting to meet me, but I’ve done the family thing, and it can be hairy.)
Chris went home, dejected, and Ali and Roberto appeared on the Bachelorette aftershow, both glowing, with plans of moving in together in San Diego. Roberto has already relocated his business there.
The only misgiving I have regarding Roberto, and it’s a big one, has to do with the family aspect. On the one hand, it is admirable that he wanted permission from her dad to marry her, and when he took Ali home, he hinted that if they didn’t like her, it would be a deal breaker. And that’s the problem.
It’s one thing to be family oriented and quite another to marry and parent by committee. It seems to me that’s how Roberto will be. Until the end he was saying that it was really good his family liked Ali. What if they hadn’t?
Flash forward: What if her parenting skills aren’t what his family thinks is suitable in the future? I foresee problems. Call it personal experience…or personal nightmare…on my part. If you marry someone who takes a family vote for decisions, you’re in trouble. That person should be your partner. He should fit in with your family, but ultimately, he should be your lifemate. The two of YOU should be one, not the GROUP should become one.
Chris was a slow starter but it’s because he approached this realistically. He thought it wrong to pop onto a TV show and declare his love or say he’d “protect” a stranger’s heart on the first sight or first dates. When he decided it was right however (much as you would in the real, free world), he was very open and demonstrative. And it was real, and it seemed like something that would last.
Single ladies looking for a good guy—think about heading up to Cape Cod. There’s a good one who got away.
Postscript: Frank was to appear on the aftershow to apologize to Ali in person. He was a no show—again. Ali didn’t just dodge a bullet with that guy–she dodged a land mine.